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In Support of Guiding Other People’s Kids
Recently, I witnessed a child sprinting around the local pool. The lifeguard, doing his job as lifeguards have done for ages, kindly asked the child to walk instead. Suddenly, the boy’s father — a tall, imposing figure — approached the lifeguard and declared that he alone has the authority to instruct his child. He insisted that any comments should be directed to him, effectively saying, “Don’t engage with my kid; I’ll handle it.”
The lifeguard maintained his composure (I might have reacted differently) and explained that enforcing pool rules is part of his responsibility, and “no running” is a standard safety guideline. The father dismissed this, resorting to intimidation and asserting that his son was fine to run, disregarding the rules because he, as the parent, had the final say. In his view, pool regulations were irrelevant — only his authority mattered.
This incident highlights a growing concern among many reasonable adults. For instance, my friend Sarah had a gathering where one guest gently reminded her child about sharing — basic etiquette. Almost immediately, the guest realized their misstep in the modern parenting landscape and apologized for overstepping. Sarah, however, was taken aback: “Please, I want you to correct my kids when necessary! They need to hear guidance from others too!”
If I were to adopt the mentality that only I can guide my children, I would be failing them in every way possible. It creates an unrealistic expectation of the world. Following the logic of the imposing father, lifeguards can’t enforce rules, teachers can’t educate, and in the future, managers can’t manage. You can see where this leads, right?
Are we as a society becoming overly focused on shielding our kids from any form of criticism? We’ve all met that parent — you know, the one who is always at school, ensuring their child achieves perfect grades or secures a spot on the student council. Fast forward to college, and professors will roll their eyes when that parent tries to intervene where they don’t belong.
Not long ago, my teenage son and his project partner neglected to submit an assignment on time, despite repeated reminders. The other child’s mother (whom I barely knew) showed up at my house, insisting we discuss the “injustice” of the situation. She was distraught over her child’s failure and wanted to find a solution. After our lengthy conversation, I gently suggested she take the matter up with a school administrator if she felt strongly about it. I haven’t heard back from her.
I don’t mean to boast, but my high-schooler has had his share of failures. None too dramatic, yet essential for growth. Recently, we discussed it, and I told him that allowing him to experience setbacks now is crucial. He needs to learn how to handle disappointment and bounce back. It’s an invaluable life skill, and I’d hate for him to crumble during his first semester in college simply because I wasn’t there to smooth things over.
So here’s a note to anyone who interacts with my kids: Feel free to guide them. It’s completely fine! If they’re misbehaving, whether it’s putting their feet on your coffee table or running around your house, please address it. As they grow, it might even involve reminding them not to consume all your snacks or track dirt onto your freshly cleaned carpet. Whatever your house rules are, don’t hesitate to enforce them. I have a bit of a selfish reason for this: I want my kids to learn and adapt.
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Summary
The article discusses the importance of allowing other adults to guide children and the societal trend of overprotecting them. It emphasizes that children benefit from hearing advice from various sources, not just their parents, while also highlighting the necessity of experiencing failure for personal growth.