Updated: July 6, 2023
As soon as I uttered those words, I wished I could take them back.
What began as a simple inquiry from a friend—”How are you?”—quickly morphed into an irritating showcase of subtle bragging. “I’m good!” I replied. “But honestly, I’m so busy. Really swamped.” I then launched into an exhaustive list of work commitments, kids’ sports, household tasks, social gatherings, and various meetings that were keeping my family so “busy.” I even added a dramatic sigh about my sleepless nights and relentless fatigue.
My friend nodded silently, and just like that, I had emerged victorious in the Busy Battle.
In our culture, being busy has become a badge of honor. It’s almost as if busy is synonymous with being successful or important. But when did we start measuring our worth by how jam-packed our schedules were?
Busy has become the humblebrag of our time. We often find ourselves detailing why our hectic lives are noble or commendable. We turn into martyrs, drowning in a sea of obligations that we feel are more overwhelming than anyone else’s. “Oh, you think you’re busy?” we say, comparing our overflowing plates of responsibilities. “At least you don’t have ballet, soccer, swim practice, travel teams, and PTA meetings on top of a full-time job!” Blah, blah, blah.
As I reflected on my response to my friend, I realized how deep I had sunk into this busy bragging culture. I wanted no part of it.
Busy is not a trophy to be earned. It’s not inherently better, and it certainly doesn’t equate to winning.
Don’t get me wrong; I believe in living life to the fullest. We only have one shot at this existence, so why not make the most of it? If you thrive on being busy, more power to you!
However, we often find ourselves genuinely overwhelmed. But when did busyness turn into a competition? Why do we feel the need to showcase just how much we have on our plates?
The truth is, we’re all busy. Sometimes we choose to be busy; other times, life demands it. Whether it’s juggling work commitments, managing children, or volunteering, we all have our reasons for being busy.
This isn’t an article advocating for minimalism or suggesting we all slow down—that’s not my intention at all. What I propose is that we stop using our busyness as a point of comparison. Yes, we’re all busy, so let’s not turn it into a contest.
Some of us are busy at work, striving to make ends meet, enduring long hours, or balancing multiple jobs. We’re answering emails from our kids’ teachers while on conference calls, skipping lunch to attend our child’s game, and logging back on after tucking the kids in. We’re busy.
Others are busy at home, managing children’s needs, changing diapers, preparing snacks, and mediating conflicts over toys. We’re busy with homework help, household chores, and emotional support. We’re busy.
Many of us volunteer our time, organizing fundraisers and advocating for change. We’re busy.
Some are wearing several hats at once—balancing work while taking care of kids and household responsibilities. We’re busy.
And yes, even those of us who prioritize self-care are busy—whether it’s exercising, socializing, or simply enjoying a moment of peace. We’re busy.
But this ongoing competition of who is the busiest? I think it’s driving us all a bit mad.
So, I’m opting out. I’ll refrain from adding the “busy but good” caveat when someone asks how I’m doing. I’m stepping away from the exhausting marathon of busyness where no one actually wins.
After all, I’m too busy to compete anyway.
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In summary, let’s put an end to the busy competition and embrace a more balanced perspective on our lives.