When contemplating parenthood, many people focus on the usual questions: Are we ready to take on the role of parents? Are our finances stable? Do we have a support system? While these are undoubtedly important considerations, there’s one question that often goes overlooked:
Can we handle multitasking from the bathroom?
It’s easy to scroll through your phone or read a book while sitting on the toilet, but parenting requires a completely different level of multitasking. Once you have kids, your private moments on the loo become anything but private. Children have no concept of personal space, and somehow, they seem to believe that your bathroom visits are public affairs.
From the moment they start reaching for the doorknob with their tiny hands, you can expect a long stretch of time where solitude in the restroom is a luxury. The unspoken rule? Any time you’re on the toilet, urgent issues arise that demand immediate attention. Whether it’s a request for a snack, a toy that needs fixing, or a sudden need for a back scratch, your bathroom break will be interrupted. Ironically, genuine emergencies—like whether your baby is trying to eat a tube of lip gloss—are often left unmentioned until you’ve finished your business.
This leads to a crucial parenting realization: if you don’t want to spend the majority of your time shouting, “Can you just wait a minute?!” you’ll need to adapt to resolving issues while on the porcelain throne. After all, if you can manage to get them what they need and enjoy a moment of peace, you’re winning!
Tasks Parents Might Juggle While on the Toilet
For those curious about what tasks parents may find themselves juggling while on the toilet, here’s just a taste of what might happen (your experiences may differ):
- Opening pouches of fruit snacks or yogurt
- Mediating sibling disputes
- Feeding or burping a baby
- Comforting a child to prevent tantrums
- Fixing broken toys
- Assisting with dressing and grooming
- Inspecting for injuries, real or imagined
- Singing songs or counting objects
- Answering homework questions
- Crafting aliens out of play-dough
And let’s not forget that children have a remarkable talent for making their parents perpetually late. You might find yourself adding “having breakfast” and “brushing/flossing your teeth” to the mix during those chaotic mornings.
So, if you or someone you know is pondering whether it’s time to start a family, here’s my suggestion: take a moment to sit on the toilet. Try to see how many tasks you can tackle while handling your business. If you can manage a few, maybe it’s time to consider ditching that birth control. But if your idea of multitasking is simply talking on the phone while walking or sipping a coffee without spilling, you might be in for a surprise!
For further insights into the journey of parenthood, don’t hesitate to check out our other blog post here. And for those looking into home insemination options, Make a Mom is a great authority on the subject. If you’re considering more advanced options, UCSF provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, preparing for parenthood goes beyond the usual financial and emotional questions. Consider your ability to multitask, especially in the most unexpected moments. If you can juggle responsibilities while taking care of personal business, you might just be ready for the adventure of parenthood!