When it comes to parenting, firstborns often get the royal treatment. They enjoy the unwavering attention of fresh, enthusiastic parents, eager to shower them with love and care while navigating the journey of parenthood for the first time. From meticulously planning every milestone to crafting a nurturing environment, first-time parents often go above and beyond. However, when a second child arrives—well, things tend to shift a bit. We’re not any less loving; we’re simply more seasoned and, let’s face it, a bit more tired (and maybe even a tad financially strained, because kids are not cheap, right?). Here’s a look at some of the things our second-borns may miss out on:
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Grand Birthday Celebrations
My first child, Jake, had a 1st birthday party to remember. We hosted a vibrant backyard bash with family and friends, complete with themed decorations, a bakery cake, and a special “smash cake” just for him. How did he react? Well, let’s just say he was more interested in his diaper than the festivities. Fast forward a few years, and when it was little brother Sam’s turn, we celebrated with a quiet gathering in our kitchen, a single cupcake, and one gift. But you know what? Sam seemed perfectly fine with it. -
Enriching Activities
Jake enjoyed all sorts of classes—mommy-and-me yoga, toddler music sessions, and playgroups galore. I was convinced he was destined for greatness, and I wanted to nurture that potential. Sam, on the other hand, was lucky if I could manage to take both boys to storytime at the library. -
Comprehensive Baby Journals
Firstborns, like Jake, often have keepsake baby books filled with notes, memorabilia, and even first haircut clippings. Every detail is captured, from birth weight to feeding patterns. For Sam, however, the baby book is a bit sparse—just his name and birth date, maybe a couple of other notes. It’s no match for Jake’s detailed chronicle. -
Gadgets Galore
First-time parents, unsure of what they truly need, tend to stock up on every imaginable baby gadget—wipes warmers, video monitors, and noise machines. By the time Sam came along, I’d learned that sometimes less is more, so we skipped a lot of the unnecessary items. -
Brand New Items
For Jake, a baby shower meant a mountain of gifts and brand-new baby gear. By the time Sam arrived, it was mostly hand-me-downs. If Sam wore something new, it was likely because Jake had outgrown it before ever wearing it! -
Photographic Evidence
I was the ultimate paparazzo with Jake, capturing every milestone and moment. We have countless photos from his first year alone, plus professional portraits. For Sam, there are a few snapshots from holidays and birthdays, but not nearly the same abundance. In fact, he’s now 8 and has never had a single professional portrait taken outside of school photos! -
Fun Outings
Taking one child to the zoo or a carnival is manageable, and the firstborn often gets a souvenir or two. But with Sam, the costs doubled, which meant we were a lot less likely to splurge. If he was lucky, he might walk away with a souvenir penny or a pencil eraser. -
Parental Overprotectiveness
This one is a bit of a mixed bag. While I was the quintessential overprotective first-time mom, making sure every bottle was sterilized and scrutinizing TV content, by the time Sam came along, my standards had relaxed considerably. If he dropped his pacifier, a quick blow and a wipe on my shirt sufficed!
To all the second-born kiddos out there, I owe you an apology on behalf of all tired parents! It’s not you; it’s us. But at least you didn’t have to wear bubble wrap every time you stepped outside to play!
For more parenting insights, check out our other blog post on home insemination.
In summary, while second children like Sam may not receive all the frills and attention their older siblings do, they gain a different type of resilience and adaptability in the process.