Dear Fellow Parents,
I want to extend my sincerest apologies.
For every instance when I remarked, “Little kids mean little problems; big kids, big problems.”
For every time I reassured a parent eagerly awaiting their baby’s first crawl or step by saying, “It’s trickier when they start moving.”
For every time I told a parent frustrated with their child’s lack of speech, “I wish I didn’t have to hear ‘Mom-Mom-Mom’ a thousand times a day.”
For every time I consoled a sleep-deprived parent with, “Just wait until they can climb out of their toddler bed.”
For every remark I made to the parent struggling with potty training, saying, “I wish we could revert back to diapers.”
For every time I told a kindergarten parent with a clingy child, “I wish my challenges were as simple as a nap.”
For every time I inadvertently downplayed someone’s struggles when they needed support, I’m truly sorry.
Because that’s not the kind of support we should offer.
Let me share a moment from my past. This picture of my son, Alex, when he was just one month old, reminds me of those tiny challenges that felt monumental at the time. Each time someone told me that it would only get harder, I felt a little piece of my resolve shatter.
Because that’s not how we uplift one another.
Recently, I found myself in a conversation with several women, and one of them opened up about a challenge she was facing. Some nodded in empathy, while others shared similar experiences. A few offered advice, and others promised to lend a helping hand. That’s what true support looks like.
Now, I have a request.
Let’s put an end to the “little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems” narrative. We need to stop minimizing one another’s parenting hurdles just because we’ve made it through similar experiences that now seem more daunting in hindsight. Let’s resist the urge to one-up each other with tales of hardship. And for goodness’ sake, let’s not imply that someone struggling through tough times is doing it wrong. Just getting through these challenges is an accomplishment in itself.
Parenting is incredibly tough. It can be wonderfully rewarding, but it also comes with its challenges. Some days may feel overwhelming, while others may be filled with minor crises. So let’s strive to lift each other up through the chaos. Let’s listen, support, and genuinely help one another.
I’ve navigated the world of tiny tots and now find myself with slightly bigger kids, and soon, they’ll be fully grown teenagers. While I cannot predict the challenges ahead, I know that the trials of parenting—big or small—are all relative. Hard is hard, and good is good, no matter the age.
So whether your children are tiny or towering, my wish for you is the same: may your days be filled with abundant joy and minimal difficulties.
If you’re interested in more insights on this journey, check out this post from our other blog. Additionally, for more guidance on the fertility journey, visit this excellent resource.
Summary:
In this heartfelt message, the author reflects on the importance of supporting fellow parents without diminishing their struggles. She shares personal experiences and urges a shift from the mindset that belittles parenting challenges based on the child’s age. Ultimately, she emphasizes the shared journey of parenting and the need for kindness and understanding among parents, no matter their stage in the journey.