Dear Little One,
As you drifted off to sleep in my arms today, I found myself holding you a bit tighter, breathing in your sweet, almost-baby scent, and pressing my cheek against your soft, curly hair. In that moment, I felt an overwhelming wave of emotion—not just because you are such a precious little being, but because I realize how often I miss these simple, beautiful moments with you.
It’s hard to admit, but I had more time for your older sibling, Alex. When he was three, our lives moved at a slower pace. Everything revolved around him, and I could give him my undivided attention in a way I wish I could do for you now.
You know how much I love you, and even before I express my feelings, I know you’ll forgive me. So, here it is: I’m sorry.
I’m sorry our lives are so hectic. I regret that we often have to wake up before you’re ready for cuddles, rush through breakfast, and get you dressed while you’re busy pretending to be a superhero. I’m sorry you have to hear me pleading with Alex—yet again—to pack his lunch for school.
I regret the yelling and the chaos surrounding “big kid” responsibilities. I’m sorry you have to hurry off to school every morning while I juggle work calls, emails, bills, and grocery shopping. I wish I could let you savor those precious nap times without needing to wake you up to pick up your brother.
I apologize for all those hand-me-down clothes from Alex and the toys and books that were his first. I’m sorry I sometimes have to bribe you with candy to get you to come with me—though you probably don’t mind the treats! I regret that your baby book isn’t filled with as many memories and milestones as Alex’s.
I’m sorry for the countless times I’ve said, “Just a minute,” when you wanted to play and for any moments you’ve had to witness me help with math homework instead of enjoying time together. I understand that sharing me with your brother has not been easy.
But please know that my heart has room for both you and Alex. It’s full of love, laughter, and joy, and that’s exactly how it should be. I cherish every cute thing you say, and every time we paint, read, or observe the slow-moving caterpillars in our yard, I’m fully present, soaking it all in.
Even if everyone around seems bigger and more absorbed in grown-up activities, we recognize the wonder and innocence you bring into our lives. I hope I do enough to remind you how special you are and how much joy you add to our family.
I hope you’ll remember those moments when you’d fall asleep in my arms, and know how desperately I’m clinging to your babyhood because it’s fleeting. I’ll let you grow up, but no matter what, you will always be my little one.
With all my love,
Mommy
P.S. If you’re curious about navigating your own family journey, you might find helpful resources at Make a Mom and Women’s Health. And for more insights, check out our post on home insemination.
Summary
This heartfelt letter expresses a mother’s apologies to her youngest child for the busyness of life that often prevents her from fully embracing their moments together. She reflects on the differences in her time with her older child and reassures her youngest of her love and commitment to cherishing their unique bond, despite the challenges of a hectic lifestyle.