Your cart is currently empty!
The One Question I Always Return To in Parenting
Parenting is definitely not a walk in the park. After nearly 16 years in the trenches, I can say that while there are ups and downs, it never really gets easy. Children are in a constant state of flux, often testing our patience and always keeping us on our toes. Just trying to manage their developmental stages, nutritional requirements, sleep patterns, and educational needs can feel overwhelming. Add to that the emotional burden of being a parent and the worry about their safety—both physical and emotional—and it becomes a juggling act of epic proportions. Plus, we are inundated with advice from so-called experts and self-appointed critics online, making it all the more challenging to navigate.
In the past, I would dive into parenting books, hoping to find some clarity. But a while back, I realized that much of the advice out there is, frankly, not very useful. Sure, some techniques work for a bit, but kids are clever—they often find ways to sidestep our strategies. Most of what I once perceived as “issues” turned out to be fleeting phases, personality traits, or signs of an imbalance in our home life.
Yet, there’s one pivotal question I continually return to when parenting feels chaotic: How is our relationship doing?
Over these years, I’ve learned that parenting fundamentally revolves around relationships. Discipline is crucial, but it only works if my children feel that deep bond with me. Without that connection—built on love, respect, and trust—any parenting techniques are likely to be short-lived.
Frequently, when my kids start testing my limits, it’s a signal that we may be growing apart—not in a natural way, but in an unhealthy manner. In those moments, I know it’s time to draw them in closer. Instead of becoming rigid, I consciously choose to soften my approach. I remind them that I’m their safe haven and their biggest supporter. While I’m their mother first and foremost, I strive for a closeness that allows them to feel free to share their worries, fears, and dreams without hesitation.
I ask myself “How’s our relationship?” when my teenager is feeling moody. I ask it when my middle child’s frustration spills over onto her little brother or when my youngest tells a fib. This question is not a substitute for necessary corrections and consequences; rather, it serves as a precursor and a follow-up to those moments. I want my kids to understand that strengthening their character and our bond is my ultimate goal. If they feel connected, I can guide my teenager through her tumultuous years more effectively. I can help my middle child navigate her anger if she knows we’re on the same team. I can instill the value of honesty in my son if he understands the importance of trust in relationships.
I remind myself that I will be a parent to these kids forever. This mother-child relationship will endure beyond the time-outs, tech battles, and all the chaos. It’s easy to get lost in the daily grind and overlook that connection isn’t something to take for granted. Therefore, I strive to prioritize our relationship in every interaction.
Of course, this doesn’t mean I never feel the urge to escape or hide from my children. Sometimes, maintaining that bond means taking necessary breaks. During those times, I keep in mind that I’m stepping back to recharge so I can offer them my best self and nurture our relationship.
This approach has proven remarkably effective. I am genuinely enjoying my almost 16-year-old. My middle daughter recently shared that she wants to tell me everything, and so far, she has—even the difficult stuff. Although I know that will not always be the case, my aspiration is for my kids to feel comfortable approaching me with anything when life gets tough.
Parenting a child who feels emotionally connected to you—who shares mutual trust and respect—is far easier than dealing with a disconnected relationship. Building and maintaining that bond requires effort, but it is undoubtedly rewarding.
For more information on related topics, you can visit this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination or check out this authority on the subject. Also, for further insights on nurturing relationships, don’t miss this informative post.
Summary:
Parenting is challenging, but the key lies in nurturing the relationship with your children. Recognizing the importance of connection allows for more effective parenting and fosters an environment of trust and openness. While it requires conscious effort, the rewards of strong relationships with your kids make the journey worthwhile.