Growing up, my father was emotionally detached and rarely engaged with my brother and me. He seldom spoke to us or played with us, often coming off as cold, irritable, and impatient. Having faced his own challenging childhood with an abusive father, he seemed to have built an emotional fortress around himself.
When I stepped into fatherhood, I realized I had no positive example to follow. The question loomed: how could I break free from emotional baggage and become the stable father my child deserved?
We often operate on “cruise control,” responding to situations instinctively, reflecting patterns from our upbringing. For instance, when my young son enthusiastically asked, “Dad, will you play with my cars?” my first instinct was, “Why would I want to sit on the floor and play with toy cars?” That reaction was a remnant of my father’s influence.
However, I had committed to being a better father than the one I had known. I frequently interrupted that automatic response by asking myself meaningful questions: “What kind of dad do I aspire to be?” or “What would I have wanted from my father?” or “What does my son truly deserve?”
What my little boy heard was a cheerful, “Of course, buddy!” I joined him on the floor, picking up a tiny car. Initially, it felt strange; as a child with a much older brother, I had often played alone. Yet, that initial awkwardness soon melted away, and I found myself fully engaged in playtime.
My son grew up with a father I actively chose to be, rather than one I merely imitated. I shifted from cruise control to a more deliberate approach. While it requires more effort to pause and make intentional decisions, not everyone has the privilege of growing up in nurturing environments. Our automatic behaviors often come from that place of unexamined reactions. We can train ourselves to take a moment to reflect on how we want to respond and how we wish to feel about ourselves in various roles—be it as a parent, partner, or friend.
This journey of self-awareness and intentional parenting not only benefits our children but also enriches our own lives. For more insights on creating a loving home, you can check out resources on home insemination and parenting at intracervicalinsemination.com. If you’re looking for an authority on this topic, Make A Mom offers great insights as well. Also, for a deeper understanding of the fertility process, visit Wikipedia, which provides excellent information.
In summary, the journey of fatherhood is about making conscious choices to break the cycles of the past, ensuring that our children receive the love and attention they deserve.