I adore my kids, but like many parents, I often find myself venting about them. I believe it’s essential for parents to express their frustrations—it keeps us sane. I’ll chat with friends and family, saying things like, “I just wish I could enjoy a meal in peace!” or “Can I please have a moment to use the bathroom alone?” or “Why can’t I ever seem to get anything done around here?”
Most responses are understanding: “Oh, I totally understand. You’re not alone. This phase will pass.” However, I occasionally hear someone suggest, “Just let them play! Teach them to entertain themselves!” While I know this is not said with malice, my immediate reaction is, “You have no idea!”
Maybe I’m the one with the issue, or perhaps it’s my kids. Who really knows? But my children don’t seem to grasp the concept of entertaining themselves unless it involves their iPads. Sure, they play often, but leaving them to their own devices usually means chaos or a trip to the emergency room.
I have two boys, a 3-year-old and a 9-year-old. My youngest can occasionally play independently—if he’s in the right mood and I don’t explicitly ask him to. On a good day, he might spend 20 or 30 minutes pretending to be a superhero, but crankiness or his brother’s interference quickly ruins that. In total, I get about 60 minutes of solo playtime from him each week. That’s enough time to unload the dishwasher. But the moment I pick up the phone or try to shower, he demands my attention. Yet, if I’m right next to him washing dishes, I can sometimes get away with it.
My older son, however, has never been one for solitary play. He’s a bright, intense kid with a mind that’s always buzzing, and he seems to require constant engagement. He’ll read or play video games, but if those activities aren’t happening, I’m met with a lot of complaining. He also loves to chat—endlessly.
Both boys are non-stop talkers. Silence is a rare commodity in our home. I’ve grown so accustomed to their constant chatter that when they’re out of the house, the quiet feels surreal. I savor those moments, closing my eyes and enjoying the stillness.
As for them playing together? Well, while they genuinely care for each other and do play together frequently, it’s a whirlwind of fun followed by fighting every five minutes. I try to give them space to resolve their conflicts and find their own entertainment, but this doesn’t allow me the freedom to accomplish anything.
Maybe my kids just require more attention than others. Perhaps I’m too concerned about potential mishaps to give them the space to navigate their challenges. Yet, I think they’re just typical kids who, during their early years, need a lot of parental guidance and can be quite draining.
I’m confident my boys are bright, energetic individuals who will turn out wonderfully. Though they drive me bonkers now, I know that one day, the silence will be overwhelming—and I will miss these chaotic moments.
Honestly, I wish they would give me a little more space to breathe. It would be nice to accomplish any task in relative quiet instead of having two little tornadoes attached to me.
In the end, I know this phase will pass, and it will all be worth it, but living through it can be quite challenging. Seriously, can’t a mom just have a moment of peace?
If you’re interested in more parenting topics, check out our other blog post about home insemination.