Dear Teenage Girls at the Pool,
Relax, this isn’t going to be one of those patronizing letters you often receive from well-meaning adults. You know the type: someone tries to share their wisdom about your clothing choices, your selfies, or even your flirting. Trust me, I’m just as tired of those as you are.
You might not remember me, but we crossed paths at the public pool last week. I use the term “crossed paths” loosely since we didn’t actually exchange names. I was convinced into climbing the high dive by my older son, who challenged me with, “If you jump off the high dive, Mom, I’ll perform my best cannonball.” Easy, I thought. No big deal, right?
But as I climbed the steps and peered over the edge, I realized how high it actually was! Suddenly, the thought of jumping felt terrifying! I hesitated, but I stood in line behind you anyway.
The last time I took a leap off a high dive, I was just a few years older than you. But oh, how things change in two decades! The diving board felt higher, the drop seemed longer, and worries about wardrobe malfunctions and belly flops felt much more pressing.
One of you said, “It always takes me a few attempts before I jump.” Then you bravely walked to the edge, hesitated, and retreated. You tried again, and after a few more attempts, you finally took the plunge. Moments later, you were back in line with your friends.
A few younger kids took their turns, and as I stood there, I heard them excitedly share how fun it was and how it didn’t hurt. You and your friend cheered each other on when it was time to jump.
Eventually, it was my turn again. I stepped onto the board, but as I looked down, I froze. For twenty minutes, I watched you and the other kids leap into the water. I tried to gather the courage to jump, reminding myself that I can tackle tough challenges and that I’d be teaching my kids the importance of bravery.
I stepped onto the board and attempted to jump at least five times, each time receiving encouraging words from you. You patiently waited while I walked halfway, paused, and then retreated.
“It’s okay,” one of you said. “I get scared too. But once you jump, it’s actually fun.”
“Just don’t look down,” your friend chimed in. “Focus on the trees instead.”
“It’s almost like flying,” one of you remarked, and we shared a laugh over the song playing in the background—“Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty.
I stepped onto the board, took a few cautious steps, and followed your advice to look at the trees. But then I glanced down and backed off again.
“Not today, kids,” I said apologetically. “Maybe next time.”
Then, one of you looked directly at me and said, “You’ll regret it if you don’t jump today. You really will.”
“I know,” I murmured, recognizing the truth in your words.
Two minutes later, when my turn came again, I walked to the edge of the board, focused on the trees, and finally jumped. I heard your cheers before I hit the water.
“Good job!” you called from above.
“Thank you!” I shouted back, genuinely grateful.
As you passed by a few minutes later, I called out my thanks again, but you were too busy laughing about something only teenage girls understand. I tried to spot you with your parents, but it seemed you were old enough to enjoy the pool independently. Soon after, my younger son requested a snack, and with that, we left the pool, never crossing paths again.
As I walked to grab a snack, my friend joked, “I expect a blog post about your dive soon.” And in that moment, I thought of you two.
Sure, I could write about overcoming fear or the value of showing our kids that we experience fear too. I’ve tackled those topics before and will continue to do so because they’re important. But right now, I want to focus on two remarkable teenage girls.
There’s much discussion about teens today, especially regarding young girls. Critics often lament the over-sexualization of girls by retailers pushing padded bras and revealing clothing. There are heated debates over whether your fashion choices are scandalous or empowering. We see viral posts shaming middle school girls for simply flirting—gasp!—at the pool. And let’s not forget the eye-rolling about your love for selfies and social media.
As parents, we aim to instill qualities like strength, confidence, and kindness in you. We want you to be brave and know your worth. We teach you to respect yourselves and to demand respect in return. We hope you grow into compassionate and self-assured adults.
However, we often forget how much you teach us in return. You show us what it means to be brave, to take risks, and to embrace the thrill of jumping in. You remind us that we’ve all made foolish mistakes. You demonstrate the significance of second chances, patience, and resilience. You teach us to leap.
We strive to lead by example, to guide you through life’s journey. We like to think our experiences have granted us wisdom, and in many aspects, they have. But we must also recognize that we don’t have all the answers. You’re navigating this path alongside us, not behind us. We’re all learning together.
So please, keep diving into the deep end! Keep being yourselves. Keep evolving.
Because as you grow, we’re learning right alongside you.
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Summary
This piece reflects on a meaningful encounter at a public pool with two teenage girls who demonstrated courage and encouragement. The author shares her internal struggle with fear while attempting to jump off the high dive, ultimately realizing that there is much to learn from the bravery of young people. It highlights the reciprocal nature of learning between parents and teens, emphasizing that both are on a journey of growth together.