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Juggling, Not Balancing: The Reality of Parenting
On the surface, my life appears to be a well-orchestrated symphony. I’m happily married, have three wonderful kids, a fulfilling job that allows me to work from home, interests that excite me, good health, a cozy home, a circle of great friends, and an engaged community. Oh, and we home-school! When I write it all down, it certainly seems impressive.
People often inquire about how I manage to balance everything, and my answer is the same each time. First, I resist the urge to laugh out loud, then I simply say, “I don’t.”
This isn’t false humility; the truth is, balancing everything is a myth — I’m more of a juggler than a balancer. The idea that the different aspects of my life could ever seamlessly align is simply unrealistic. Sure, I implement some strategies to keep things running smoothly, but as any parent knows, “smooth” often comes with plenty of bumps along the way.
Whether you’re a working parent or a stay-at-home one, whether your kids are in school or not, parenting is a whirlwind. I prefer to think of it as juggling rather than balancing. It’s a continual motion of shifting focus, bouncing from one task to another, and trying to keep everything in the air simultaneously. The balls are constantly flying around, with some being caught just in time before I have to reach for the next one.
When I reflect on my life, I can identify nine key areas that demand my attention: marriage, parenting, home-schooling, work, hobbies, health, household responsibilities, friendships, and community involvement. I cherish each of these elements; they are crucial to my well-being. Even hobbies, which might seem trivial, are vital for self-care — dropping that ball can have a ripple effect on all the others.
And yes, balls do drop. They drop constantly. Some of it is my own doing, given that I chose these commitments. However, none of these areas can be overlooked entirely. If I neglect my health, it adversely affects my ability to manage everything else. Quitting home-schooling would just replace one school commitment with another, which doesn’t alleviate the load. My marriage and kids are non-negotiable priorities, as is my work, which is both essential and rewarding. Sure, the house often gets neglected, but that’s somewhat acceptable — a clean environment certainly helps with juggling. The community aspect can take a backseat at times, but I strive to maintain it as an example for my children. Friendships are another area that sometimes gets sidelined, but I refuse to drop that ball intentionally; they fuel my energy to keep juggling.
Currently, I’m juggling nine balls, and at least one tends to hit the ground daily. But guess what? I looked up the world record for juggling nine balls. Want to know what it is? A mere 55 seconds! Even a trained juggler can’t keep nine balls in the air for longer than that.
So, if you find yourself dropping balls left and right, feeling like you can never achieve that elusive balance, don’t worry. It’s just part of the parenting adventure! It’s even more intricate than I’ve described; each additional child changes the dynamics of all the other “balls” in your life. Every relationship, work commitment, community involvement, and school duty adds another layer of complexity, requiring continual adjustment.
The trick is to appreciate the skill of juggling itself. Perfection is not the goal; even the best jugglers don’t maintain flawless performances all the time. Keep doing your best to keep those balls in the air, knowing that some will inevitably fall. Just pick them up and see if you can extend your time before the next one drops. Remember, if you’ve managed to juggle for longer than 55 seconds, you’re already ahead of the pros. Keep pushing forward, Mamas!
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Summary:
Parenting isn’t about achieving balance; it’s about mastering the art of juggling various responsibilities. Each day, parents navigate commitments to marriage, children, work, and personal well-being, often dropping the balls they juggle. Embracing this chaotic reality allows for growth, understanding, and resilience.