I found myself in bed around 2 p.m., battling the flu, when my 9-year-old son, Alex, nudged me and said, “I know you’re not feeling well. If you let me have some screen time, I won’t bother you.”
I turned over to see him standing there in a faded video game T-shirt and shorts, arms crossed, hair tousled, his expression serious. He was clearly hoping to make a deal.
My partner, Lisa, had taken our two youngest daughters out for errands, leaving me to manage the household with Alex. I agreed to let him stay home, thinking it would be a peaceful afternoon. Little did I know, he hadn’t completed his list of chores—his ticket to screen time—and was now determined to negotiate with his sick father.
“Did you finish your list?” I asked, already doubting his answer.
“I did most of it,” he replied.
Most of it? I knew that was code for “not much at all.” We bought our kids tablets earlier this year with the intention that they’d use educational apps. However, our real motivation was for some much-needed quiet time. There’s definitely something blissful about handing over a tablet after a long day. Back when I started parenting, I’d just put on a cartoon for peace and quiet, but now, I could zone them out for hours with a device.
And I’ll admit, when all three kids have their screens, the house is blissfully quiet. It’s a heavenly stillness, especially when you’re not feeling well.
The downside? Those little screens have proven to be as addictive as candy, and while they provide a temporary escape for me, it’s a constant struggle to manage my kids’ screen time. In today’s world, parenting comes with the challenge of navigating apps, YouTube, and the internet. My children don’t watch traditional cartoons; instead, they tune into videos of others playing games—none of which seem educational. It’s a never-ending stream of easily accessible, mindless entertainment.
To manage screen time, we introduced a chore chart that effectively turned tasks into a form of currency. My kids are less concerned about money and more focused on screen time, so we incentivized chores like taking out the trash and cleaning their rooms with minutes on their devices. They know they need to complete daily tasks—like brushing their teeth, tidying up, and engaging in something creative—before they can earn any screen time.
I must admit, my kids will do nearly anything for those precious minutes. Just last week, I had Alex happily picking up dog waste in the yard, all for a promised 45 minutes of screen time. However, this system has also transformed them into little manipulators who are all too aware of how to work the system.
Since we got the tablets, my daughter has pretended to be sick multiple times, trying to mimic the one occasion when she actually was ill and received the iPad for comfort. Alex has lied about completing chores just to get some screen time, and I’ve caught them sneaking away to hide and play games instead of doing their tasks. They’ve even attempted to reset the iPad timer behind my back to gain extra minutes. It has become a negotiation, with Alex even trying to barter with me, saying he wouldn’t tell Lisa about a mishap in the garden if I let him have some screen time.
Sometimes, it feels like I’m haggling with a street vendor over how many minutes they can earn for this or that task. While I can’t deny their cleverness, it’s clear we’ve created screen-obsessed little negotiators.
So, when Alex realized I was under the weather, he seized the opportunity to take advantage of my weakened state. I propped myself up in bed and looked at him, arms still crossed, trying to hold my gaze.
“If you didn’t finish your list, you know the rule: no screens,” I said, feeling the weight of my illness.
His shoulders slumped as he began to plead. “Please, Dad. Just this once?”
I held up my hand, “Alex, I’m very sick right now. I don’t appreciate you trying to get me to bend the rules. You don’t take advantage of someone when they’re down.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but I cut him off, “We both know that’s exactly what you’re trying to do.”
With a defeated look, he told me what he had accomplished. We went back and forth, negotiating what he needed to do to earn his screen time. I helped him see that his remaining chores weren’t too daunting, and I offered him some extra time if he could heat up some soup for me.
“It’s a trade. You help me, I help you. That’s how the world works,” I said.
He didn’t seem thrilled with the deal, but he accepted it. In the end, we shook hands, as if we had made a significant agreement. “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you,” I joked.
Alex smiled and headed to the kitchen to prepare my soup, reminding me that even in the chaos, there’s humor to be found in the challenges of parenting.
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Summary:
Navigating parenting in a tech-driven world means dealing with screen time as a form of currency. This humorous story illustrates the lengths to which kids will go to earn minutes on their devices, along with the challenges and negotiations that arise in managing their usage. Ultimately, it highlights the cleverness of children and the importance of setting boundaries, even when you’re feeling under the weather.