When I was in my twenties, the idea of aging felt like a far-off fantasy. My 40s and 50s seemed light-years away—because, honestly, they were! If I had paused to envision what midlife would be like, I might have pictured myself in elastic-waist pants, wearing pantyhose with reinforced toes, and activating one of those emergency alert devices around my neck when I inevitably took a tumble. And let’s not forget the sensible shoes—lots of them!
Fortunately, most of my pants still manage to zip (well, they have zippers at least), and I haven’t had to reach for that emergency button, the clapper, or the grabber. I do appreciate a solid pair of support stockings, though. So while my midlife reality isn’t the frightful scenario my 21-year-old self might have imagined, I do have some amusing yet slightly disheartening observations about this stage of life that I’d love to share.
Comfort Takes Priority in Your Underwear Drawer
Let’s face it: while there’s still a place for sassy lingerie, comfort is now the reigning champion. Support follows close behind. I might still let my wild side show occasionally, but I have outgrown the need to impress anyone, including my husband, with my choice of undergarments. It is what it is!
The Surprise of Dark Hairs
Regardless of your natural hair color, stray dark hairs seem to appear out of nowhere—often in places you’d least expect. For example, I now have a rogue strand on my neck that seems to have a mind of its own. A male colleague once confused it for a piece of string, which was both embarrassing and oddly amusing. PSA: Use your rearview mirror to spot these pesky hairs, but keep tweezers handy in your glove compartment for safety—nobody wants to pluck while driving!
The Fear of Sneezing and Peeing
Let’s get real: a sudden sneeze, cough, or hearty laugh can lead to an unexpected “sneeze-pee fusion.” You start to reflect on all those times you chuckled at older women discreetly buying Poise pads. Trust me, the universe has its way of ensuring we experience the same realities we once mocked.
Your High School Jams are Now “Classic Rock”
It’s a harsh awakening when the songs you once rocked out to are now categorized as classic rock. I brace myself for the day a young DJ refers to Pat Benatar as an “oldie.” That’s when a small part of me will forever fade away.
Despite the need for more comfortable underwear and the occasional tweezing session, life at midlife is not all doom and gloom. I still have enough energy to chase my kids, finish a 5K, and sometimes even outpace my younger friends. Occasionally, I catch someone checking me out—sure, they might think I need help crossing the street, but let me enjoy my daydreams!
Many of my friends in their 40s and 50s celebrate the perks of this age, including a more vibrant sex life and greater wisdom. It all comes down to boosted confidence and a liberating disregard for others’ opinions.
We all have those moments: catching a glimpse of ourselves in the rearview mirror and noticing an unwelcome hair while the classic rock station plays “Rolling in the Deep.” Or wandering through Target, suddenly clutching a pack of cotton briefs and declaring, “These look cozy!” Welcome to midlife!
I have no regrets. Those sensible shoes are incredibly comfy!
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Summary
Midlife may come with its share of surprises, from unexpected hairs to the reality of sneeze-pee fusion, but it also brings comfort and confidence. Embracing these changes means finding humor and joy in the journey.