I have a confession to share: I’ve been a mom for nearly a decade, and I’ve never once hired a babysitter. Seriously. I’ve never spent money on someone to care for my children.
I’m not sharing this to present myself as some kind of hero or to imply I’m superior to anyone else—it’s not about that. I’ve been fortunate to have family nearby who can step in when I need help. Plus, since I work from home, I’ve always managed my professional responsibilities around my family’s routine. So, hiring a babysitter never seemed necessary to me—and I know many would view that as a privilege.
Part of my hesitation also stemmed from not wanting to spend the extra cash. Good babysitters in my area charge around $15 an hour, and if we had some extra funds, we’d rather invest in swim lessons for the kids or a trip to the amusement park. When it came to spending money on myself, it was always for practical items like new socks or yoga pants (yes, I admit it).
However, I now realize that I truly regret not hiring a babysitter. It was misguided of me to neglect my own needs and convince myself that I didn’t deserve to spend time or resources on self-care.
I have taken on the role of the mom who never gets a moment to herself, convincing myself that this was the best approach. I’ve felt guilty about even considering hiring help, believing that I should save every extra penny for my children. At times, I’ve even thought—though I’m embarrassed to say it—that my children were better off without outside help and that I was a better mother for it.
But I was mistaken. These thoughts stemmed from the belief that my needs were less valuable than those of my family, and that’s simply not accurate.
In hindsight, I see how beneficial it would have been to have uninterrupted time to just be myself—time to drive around without hearing, “Can we get snacks?” or “Are we there yet?” every few minutes. I craved the simplicity of running errands without kids clinging to me or crying in my ear.
There were countless days when the kids were sick or when my partner was working late for days on end, leaving me feeling overwhelmed. I remember the repetitive tasks feeling robotic and the constant bickering from the kids pushing me to my limits. The pressure would build up, making me feel trapped within the walls of our home.
In those moments, I wish I had recognized that preserving my sanity as a mother was worth the investment in a babysitter for a few hours. Why didn’t I see the value in that sooner?
I understand that many moms are in tight financial situations where hiring a babysitter isn’t feasible. I also know how challenging it can be to find trustworthy childcare. However, what if we shifted our priorities? What if we said no to extra toys for the kids for a while or cut back on other non-essentials?
Your babysitter doesn’t need to be a professional. You could hire the neighborhood teenager or even a mother’s helper. You could have the sitter play with your kids in another room while you take a breather. Imagine locking yourself in your bedroom to scroll your phone for a bit!
Even that small break can make a significant difference on those overwhelming days when it feels like motherhood is consuming you. Maybe we wouldn’t need to splurge on wine or chocolate if we redirected that money toward a few hours of childcare. You might find it balances out!
In all seriousness, whether you choose to hire a babysitter, drop the kids off at your in-laws, or take some time for yourself while your partner watches the kids, you deserve it.
There’s nothing selfish about prioritizing self-care. Moms who don’t take breaks often find themselves overwhelmed. I know this all too well—I’ve been there too often. We all want to be loving, attentive parents and create beautiful memories for our children. But we can’t do that if we’re running on empty without sleep, support, or breaks.
So, I encourage you to seek help, whether that means hiring someone or just asking for a few hours of support. It may feel impossible to carve out time for yourself, but you don’t have to endure this journey alone. The bravest thing you can do is to care for yourself. You are worth it, mama.
For more insights on this topic, consider checking out this resource or learn about home insemination kits that can guide you through your parenting journey. Additionally, this center offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Many moms struggle to find time for themselves, often neglecting their own needs in favor of their children’s. The author shares her experience of never hiring a babysitter and the regret that followed, realizing the importance of self-care. She encourages mothers to reconsider their priorities, emphasizing that seeking help, whether through a babysitter or other means, is vital for maintaining sanity and being the best parent possible.