Balancing the joys of parenting with personal pursuits can feel like a juggling act. While the laughter and love of little ones are priceless, it’s not unusual to feel like your creative energy is being overshadowed by the demands of parenthood. I’ve often found myself wishing for a moment just to breathe, let alone dive into my passions.
To clear my mind one evening, I decided to visit a local jazz club where my uncle was jamming on the saxophone. During these sessions, musicians come together, often with little to no prior knowledge of the songs they will play. They might start with two players or a dozen, and the duration of each piece could range from a few minutes to much longer — it’s all spontaneous. They simply follow the music, one note at a time, and it’s mesmerizing to witness.
The next morning, I took a stroll with my uncle and started asking about how he jumps into these sessions without knowing the tunes.
Me: How do you just get up there and start playing? Aren’t you afraid of messing up?
My Uncle: Musicians call out the key, and we just play. You might not know the song, but you go with what feels right. Improvise. Don’t overthink it. Just get up and jam.
Me: But what if you make a mistake?
My Uncle: (laughs) Who cares? You keep jamming. If you hesitate, you’ll miss the moment. You trust that you’ll find your way back to the music.
I can relate to that exhilarating feeling of losing myself in a task that challenges and excites me. But as a busy parent, it’s tough to carve out that time. I resolved then and there to stop holding myself back. I had to embrace the idea of “jamming” in my own life.
But I’m not great at this.
Just keep jamming.
I don’t have enough time.
Just keep jamming.
What if I mess up? What if people judge me?
Who cares? Enough of that. Keep jamming.
The baby just had a diaper blowout.
Okay, handle that first, but then make room to keep jamming.
Often, we feel pursuing our happiness is selfish. Ironically, it’s quite the opposite; nurturing your passions enables you to be the best version of yourself for those around you. I genuinely believe that we each have a responsibility to explore what we can offer to the world.
Fast forward two and a half years, and I’m thrilled to announce that I completed my goal: I wrote and published a cookbook! Yes, a cookbook! It’s easy to doubt yourself, but I’ve learned that if something ignites your passion, you should never apologize for pursuing it.
Here are my nine tips to help you find your jam:
- Release the Pressure
Stop stressing about doing it “right” or comparing yourself to others. Nobody shares your experiences, and once you quiet the noise, you can hear your inner voice encouraging you: “You can do this.” - Embrace the Uncertainty
In adulthood, I’ve realized a universal truth: none of us really have it all figured out. We’re all improvising, hoping nothing falls apart. You don’t need all the answers; just start your project and grow from there. - Accept Mistakes
Mistakes are part of the journey. Expect them and learn from them. Just like my uncle, who plays on stage without worrying about messing up, trust that you’ll find your rhythm again. - Share Your Ideas
Don’t keep your ideas locked away. Vocalizing your intentions can attract the support and energy you need. It was when I shared my vision that I found my co-author and the resources to bring my cookbook to life. - Trust Your Instincts
Be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses. If something excites you, pursue it. If you’re losing sleep over it or squeezing in time to work on it, you’re onto something worthwhile. - Help Others
What skills or knowledge do you have that can assist someone else? When I felt overwhelmed with meal planning for my family, I focused on making it easier for myself — and others started asking for my recipes. - Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
I used to care too much about others’ opinions until I learned that it’s not my business what they think. Focus on doing what makes you happy, and you might find unexpected support from those around you. - Follow Your Emotions
What moves you? For me, it’s food. Each recipe I created brought back cherished memories, fueling my passion further. - Release Perfectionism
Perfection is unattainable and frankly boring. If my uncle waited until he mastered every song, he’d never perform. Remember that more people watch than participate, and many are too scared to step up.
So, what are you waiting for? What dreams have you tucked away because you think they’re unworthy or fear judgment? Move past your self-doubt, find your key, and start jamming.
For more insights on parenting and personal growth, check out our post on home insemination and explore how you can take charge of your journey. If you’re interested in learning more about artificial insemination, visit this great resource. Additionally, for practical tools, Make a Mom offers an excellent kit to support your journey.
Summary:
Finding your passion amidst the busyness of parenting can be challenging, but by releasing pressure, embracing mistakes, and trusting your instincts, you can begin your journey. Remember, it’s about the joy of creation and growth, not perfection. So don’t hesitate — take that first step toward discovering your jam!