In every parent’s journey, there comes a pivotal moment when the kids pose that daunting question. You know the one — it’s fraught with responsibility and can lead to some very awkward conversations. No, I’m not talking about “How are babies made?” I’m referring to, “Can we get a dog?”
In a Reddit post titled “Dog Ownership Agreement by Hesitant Dad,” user jsmith42 shared his amusing take on the dog dilemma: a detailed contract that his children had to sign, covering everything from the breed’s size to the designated potty area in the yard.
The opening line of the agreement states, “We can get a dog if everyone agrees to all of the following terms.” The first stipulation? “Dad will never be responsible for picking up dog poop. The kids must handle this task three times a week to Dad’s satisfaction.”
Following this, the father outlines specifics regarding the dog’s characteristics, behavior, and hygiene. The future pet must weigh less than 15 pounds, be non-shedding (good luck with that!), only relieve itself in the side yard (preferably on the rocks next to Jane’s fence — sorry Jane!), must be bathed by a child at Dad’s discretion, and cannot slobber or have a runny nose. The contract humorously states, “All parties agree that those types of dogs are gross.”
Additional Guidelines Include:
- The dog must not scratch the floors. How this is achieved is left up to the kids — whether through closely clipped nails, protective booties, or even surgical alterations.
- If the dog makes a mess indoors and natural cleaning solutions fail, the use of harsher chemicals is permitted to eliminate stains or odors.
- Dad holds the ultimate veto power over the dog’s name.
- The dog shall never be referred to as a child or sibling. Everyone agrees that the dog is a dog.
- The dog’s name will not appear on the family Christmas card. If a photo of the dog is included, it should be incidental — the canine should not be the focus.
And perhaps most importantly:
- The kids agree to never lose interest in the dog or fall out of love with it. All parties acknowledge that the dog is primarily their responsibility for its entire life.
The Reddit community responded with laughter, and some even assured him that he would inevitably grow fond of the new furry family member. While a few accused him of being overly stern, it seems like this contract serves as a playful yet practical reminder of the commitment that comes with pet ownership.
In the comments, jsmith42 revealed that his family did indeed adopt a dog soon after signing the agreement. “Two weeks later, we welcomed a three-year-old white fluffy mutt from a shelter who weighs 15 lbs., is house-trained, and doesn’t shed or drool,” he shared. “We named him Buddy (veto power not exercised)… Everyone, including Dad, loves the dog, which has been a wonderful addition to our family.”
Clearly, a family dog contract can be a fun way to set expectations while preparing for the responsibilities of pet ownership.
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Summary:
A funny dad created a “dog ownership agreement” for his kids, listing humorous but practical rules for bringing a new dog into the family. The contract covers everything from dog size to poop duty, all while preparing the kids for the responsibilities of pet ownership. After signing, the family adopted a fluffy mutt that everyone adores, proving that a light-hearted approach to serious topics can yield positive outcomes.