I embrace my role as a strict mom, and I take pride in the title my children often give me. It has taken years of reflecting, navigating challenges, and pouring my heart into parenting to feel confident in my approach. When I began this wild journey of motherhood, I had very little knowledge but was certain of a few things: there would be rules in our household, and I wanted to raise self-sufficient kids instead of entitled individuals who can’t take care of themselves. Oh, and one more thing—sleep would be non-negotiable. I didn’t enjoy late nights in college, and I certainly wasn’t going to endure them with little ones around.
It became clear to me early on that children don’t arrive with an inherent understanding of right and wrong, nor do they have the skills to keep their spaces tidy. Initially, my expectations were modest: I simply wanted my toddler to help clean up his toys at the end of the day. Some days, he managed to toss only one toy into the box while I took care of the rest. However, with consistent encouragement and setting an example, he gradually learned how to tackle his Lego messes. The same process unfolded with my daughter when she came along a few years later.
Establishing House Rules
Establishing house rules went beyond just cleaning up. Our home operates under a sleep regime—naps and bedtimes are set in stone. But as any parent of a toddler knows, trying to explain that they need rest so Mom can indulge in wine and Netflix often falls on deaf ears. Teaching kids to sleep is vital, so I had to provide them with the proper tools for success. With a regular bedtime and firm boundaries about getting out of bed, I eventually nurtured children who slept soundly through the night. I wanted them to realize that Mom wouldn’t always be there to protect them from imaginary monsters. (See? I’m tough.)
Fostering Independence
As my kids venture into their teenage years, the focus has shifted to fostering their independence. They are now capable of taking on more responsibilities at home, and I’m seizing every chance to equip them with essential life skills for their future. Just as I taught them to tidy their toy room, I’m now guiding them through the realities of adulthood to prevent any surprises when they enter college. I’ve started stepping back and allowing them to handle more tasks on their own.
Encouraging independence involves showing them how to approach a task, establishing a routine, and then letting them take it from there. For instance, when my son expressed interest in having a say in what went into his lunchbox, I seized the opportunity. I stocked the fridge with healthy options, outlined what he needed to include, and enjoyed my coffee while he prepared his meal. Within a short time, he was also making lunches for his sister because he found joy in the process. This newfound skill has made our mornings smoother—bonus for me, as I can now savor a cup of coffee before the bus arrives.
Letting Go of Micromanagement
Many of my friends are surprised that I don’t micromanage my kids’ homework or track their school project deadlines. Sure, I help them with challenging assignments and ensure they have the necessary materials, but the responsibility for due dates and mistakes lies with them. Helicopter parenting in academics hinders their ability to learn time management and face consequences. Recently, my son handed in an assignment late, impacting both his grade and his honor society eligibility. It was a tough lesson for us both, but I refrained from intervening. He accepted his mistake, and we both know he’ll strive to do better next time. Learning through experience leaves a lasting impression.
I maintain high expectations for my children daily. They’re expected to contribute to household chores, but I ensure they have the knowledge and resources to succeed. With just a few years left before they step into the world, it’s gratifying to see them take the initiative at home. And trust me, their skills in cleaning the bathroom will earn them some serious brownie points with future college roommates.
Additional Resources
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In summary, while I may be tough on my kids, my goal is to prepare them for a world beyond our home. Teaching them responsibility, independence, and essential life skills ensures they grow into respectful and capable individuals.