I was in the restroom, attempting to attach a pad to my underwear, when my little one burst in exclaiming, “Wow! Mommy’s wearing diapers?!” The truth is, I’m not even on my period; I’m just dealing with a weak pelvic floor, which I thought Kegels would solve.
Every time I cough, sneeze, laugh too heartily, jump on a trampoline, raise my voice, jog, or even let out a big yawn, my bladder seems to get overly excited, resulting in little accidents. After giving birth to my first child naturally and then having an emergency C-section for my second, my body didn’t recover quite like the parenting books promised it would. I was advised to do yoga, strengthen my core, and religiously practice Kegels. I even heard that leaking when I sneeze is just part of motherhood and that I should learn to accept it.
However, at 37, I’m not ready to start buying incontinence pads in bulk. So, like any sensible person would do, I took a good look at my body and lifestyle, and I realized Kegels just weren’t cutting it for me. I decided to be open about it and reached out to my mom friends on Facebook, asking, “Do you experience leaks too?” To my surprise, every single one shared an embarrassing moment about wetting themselves from laughing, sneezing, or running.
Feeling reassured that I wasn’t alone in this struggle, I turned to Google for solutions. It was then that I discovered a gynecologist named Arnold Kegel, who, back in the 1940s, advocated for pelvic floor exercises that involved lying on your back and flexing vaginal muscles around his fingers. Yes, you read that right! Unfortunately, this outdated advice is based on incorrect assumptions about female anatomy. Additionally, using devices like Ben Wa balls won’t work for everyone suffering from stress urinary incontinence.
What’s really made a difference for me and many others is focusing on better posture while sitting and standing. When lying down, try to engage your core by pulling your navel toward your spine. A simple bridge pose—where you lie on your back with your knees bent and lift your hips—can help strengthen the abdominal muscles supporting your lower back and bladder. Isn’t it absurd that so many women feel compelled to wear pads just to cope with sneezing?
So, I stopped doing Kegels and told my mom friends to do the same. We even had a laugh looking up vaginal weights—only to realize how silly they are—and then searched for actual exercises that work. As mothers, we often receive terrible advice and face judgment from all sides. We understand that no body fully recovers in six weeks. We know the media often shames mom bodies, and we’re tired of doing countless Kegels only to still have accidents when we laugh too heartily. Why continue with ineffective methods?
For those interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out one of our other blog posts here. If you’re looking for reliable information on artificial insemination kits, visit this page. And for an excellent resource on pregnancy, you can go to the CDC’s site.
In summary, navigating motherhood can be tough, especially when it comes to issues like pelvic floor health. While Kegels may work for some, they aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Exploring other exercises and understanding our bodies can help us regain control and confidence without relying on outdated methods.