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Co-Sleeping: We Might Need a Bigger Bed
Parenting | Co-Sleeping
By Alex Thompson
Updated: Feb. 19, 2021
Originally Published: Aug. 3, 2016
It feels like ages since I’ve had a night to myself. I’m not boasting; honestly, it’s been a long time since I’ve slept without at least two other family members sharing my bed (still not bragging; they are my kin, after all).
Ah, kids.
About three years ago, we transitioned my 5-year-old from his crib to a real bed. This past year, we even upgraded him to a super stylish loft bed—a feat that nearly broke my back (thanks a lot, IKEA!). Yet, almost every night, he opts to leave his bed and join me instead.
As a parent navigating this scenario, I often find myself caught in a tug-of-war of emotions. On one hand, sharing a bed that’s meant for two now accommodating three can make restful sleep a distant dream, especially when the third occupant doesn’t grasp the concept of sleeping still, often kicking, flailing, and somehow managing to sleep diagonally. On the flip side, I realize that this snuggling phase won’t last forever; soon enough, he’ll outgrow these moments and seek his independence.
Children grow so quickly, and the very things that frustrate us now often become the memories we cherish later on. As they transition through various stages, you might even find yourself longing for the innocent quirks of childhood, especially since they often morph into more complex challenges. Personally, I’d take the chaos of my son incessantly asking “why” over the headache of worrying about college tuition any day.
Co-sleeping is one of those fleeting characteristics of early childhood. Despite the plethora of expert opinions and online discussions warning about its potential negative impacts on sleep and child development, it can be incredibly hard to resist. Sometimes it’s as simple as not having the energy to return a child to their own bed in the middle of the night. But for my partner, Sarah, even with her concerns about ensuring our son learns to sleep in his own space, she cherishes those evenings cuddled close to him. It’s a sweet reminder that he still craves our warmth, especially as we flip through old photos comparing his first and last days of school, her heart aching at how fast he’s growing up.
So, we oscillate between “we need to break this habit now!” and “let’s savor these moments while we can!” Sometimes, these feelings arise within the same night. Some nights he’s nestled beside us, other nights he’s not, and we find ourselves reminiscing about how much we miss that closeness even before it’s gone.
Our son spends many nights in our bed, and on the rare occasions he doesn’t, it’s often through some form of bribery or gentle persuasion. Despite our complaints about him taking up space and disrupting our sleep, and our worries about too much co-sleeping steering him towards some Norman Bates-like future, we’ve come to accept this arrangement.
After all, it’s not like he’ll be sharing our bed when he’s a teenager—right? (Though, who knows!)
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In summary, co-sleeping is a bittersweet chapter in parenting. While it can be challenging to share your space with little ones, these moments are fleeting and often cherished in hindsight.