I can recall the moment vividly; it was during my 10th-grade civics class, and we were kicking off the spring semester. I was sitting in the front row, my face flushed with anger. What was the topic of discussion? Abortion.
I felt infuriated with my classmates—mostly boys—who openly supported the pro-choice stance. I spun around in my seat, fuming about how our society could allow such a horrendous act as terminating an unborn child. “Those women were irresponsible and should face the consequences,” I proclaimed.
Fast forward ten months, and I found myself in the waiting area of an abortion clinic. Talk about a change of heart.
For most of my life, I’ve identified as conservative. I have a strong religious faith; I believe in God, the Bible, and the idea of an afterlife. Growing up in the Bible Belt, the conservative viewpoint was ingrained in me from a young age. Challenging these beliefs felt like inviting harsh judgment from those around me.
However, my perspective shifted one summer as I tuned into the Democratic National Convention. I had watched both parties’ conventions, absorbing the political landscape, and attempting to sift through the smear campaigns to find relevant truths. While Hillary Clinton’s nomination was historic, it was Ilyse Hogue, the president of NARAL Pro-Choice America, whose speech truly resonated with me. It left me utterly speechless.
Like Hogue, I dreamed of having a family as a child, but at 16, the timing was far from right. I was set to deliver a month before my senior year began, and I was not in a position to provide a stable life for a child. My boyfriend was equally unprepared. My aspirations included graduating high school, attending college, and discovering my path in life.
I understood that becoming a mother at 17 would not only impact me but also put a burden on our families. Though many young women have successfully balanced motherhood and their goals, that wasn’t the life I envisioned for myself.
Looking back, I realize I should have spoken to my mother about birth control. She had offered several times, but I rejected the idea out of embarrassment. I know now she would have been supportive, but I still hesitated. Our school didn’t provide access to Planned Parenthood, and I was too ashamed to reach out for help. Thankfully, when I needed her the most, my mom was there, holding my hand throughout the day—after all, I was still her child.
Hogue’s words inspired me. She empowered me to realize that women don’t have to navigate these difficult, emotional decisions alone, especially in a society that often shames them. One in three women will have an abortion before the age of 45, yet we remain silent about it, as if it’s a taboo topic. Having an abortion is often treated like wearing a scarlet letter.
Every December 2, I reflect on my experience. I think about how different life would have been for me and my ex-boyfriend, and I remain content with my choice. Had I become a parent then, I wouldn’t have my son now. I also wouldn’t have had the chance to be a surrogate. I’m grateful for the life I have, which would have been drastically different had I had a 10-year-old child.
Imagine the consequences if abortion were banned in our country. Women of all ages would be forced to give birth, facing the choice of either raising their child or giving them up for adoption. No one should be compelled to carry a pregnancy to term, and adoption isn’t a simple solution either.
Did you know a child enters the foster care system every two minutes? According to the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS), by the end of the 2014 fiscal year, over 107,918 children were waiting to be adopted, with a total of 415,129 in foster care. Of those, only 50,644 were adopted. These numbers paint a grim picture of what could happen if women were forced to give birth.
Even more heartbreaking would be the mothers compelled to deliver a child with a terminal diagnosis, unable to choose to prevent that suffering. The choice to terminate a pregnancy in such cases is invaluable for families.
I’m done hiding my experience out of fear of judgment as a Christian or a Republican. This week, a four-minute speech changed my perspective. For the first time, I feel unashamed.
Hillary’s nomination is just the beginning. With her support, Hogue can help break down more barriers. We deserve the autonomy to decide what happens with our bodies. I refuse to carry around the burdens of fear, shame, embarrassment, resentment, depression, and failure any longer. More importantly, I want to ensure that other women in similar situations have the same options I did.
So, #ImWithHer.
For those interested in becoming a parent, consider exploring options like home insemination. Check out this resource for more information on how to navigate the process here. Another excellent resource for fertility information can be found at Hopkins Medicine. Additionally, for those looking to take the next step in their journey, Make a Mom offers a comprehensive guide on artificial insemination kits.
In summary, my journey from a staunch anti-abortion stance to embracing a pro-choice perspective reflects the complexities of personal experiences. It’s crucial to have open dialogues about these topics, ensuring that every woman has the right to make her own choices without fear of judgment.