At first glance, it might seem surprising that we’re friends or that our bond has endured for so long. We may hold different political or religious views, come from diverse backgrounds, and exhibit varying personality traits. Our conversations often take place through text messages, emails, or social media, with perhaps the occasional phone call thrown in for good measure.
Our families might look quite different, and our parenting styles may not always match. We could reside in different types of homes, cities, or even countries. But none of that really matters. What truly counts in friendship is what we value, and there are plenty of things I simply don’t care about.
For instance, I don’t give a hoot about your family’s diet. Whether you’re serving your kids organic, non-GMO meals or letting them indulge in Cheez Doodles daily is not my concern. I won’t judge your family dinners, whether they consist of one-size-fits-all meals or a dozen options for picky eaters. Just don’t side-eye me for having Pop Tarts and Pringles in my pantry, or lecture me on the virtues of juicing, because that’s just not happening.
Your job title? I couldn’t care less. Whether you’re a working mom, stay-at-home parent, or anything in between, it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care if you’re in meetings all day or at playdates. What’s important is that we can vent together about how challenging our respective roles can be—whether that’s navigating the legal field, parenting, teaching, or simply handling adult responsibilities. Because really, what are friends for if not to share a good rant?
I’m not concerned about your house or your car, either. It doesn’t matter if your living room is spotless or scattered with toys and half-finished projects. Whether there are muddy footprints in your entryway or your snack stash consists of Goldfish crackers and cheap wine doesn’t faze me. The only thing I need to know is if I should take my shoes off when I come over; a true friend should be aware of that kind of thing.
I don’t care how you parent, or even if you’re a parent at all. Whether you co-sleep, use cloth diapers, or have a night nurse is irrelevant. What matters is that you treat my kids with kindness and respect my parenting choices, even if they differ from yours. If you’re the judgmental type, we might have a problem. I care about whether our kids get along, as it makes it easier for us to share our parenting woes while they entertain each other.
Your political, religious, or cultural beliefs? Not my concern either. Whether you’re glued to reality TV or prefer NPR, that’s up to you. Can we enjoy a tube of cookie dough and sip on cheap box wine while watching old movies in our pajamas? That’s what solid friendships are made of. It doesn’t matter if you attend church regularly or read The New York Times on Sundays, as long as your reasons for your beliefs are rooted in understanding and goodwill.
Are you a genuinely kind person? That’s what I truly value in a friend. As I grow older, I’ve realized that I have fewer cares to give, and I reserve them for things that matter—like whether you’re there for me, respond to my calls and texts, and support my decisions, even if they don’t align with yours. I value effort and reliability in our friendship, and I appreciate being able to laugh, cry, and be a little silly together.
Do we know each other’s secrets? Can we be vulnerable? Friendship is messy and requires some effort, but ultimately, it’s about being real with each other. Can we share our true selves without fear? That’s what makes a friendship meaningful—along with a few hilarious stories and inside jokes!
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Summary
This article discusses the essence of friendship, emphasizing that true connections are built on kindness, understanding, and shared experiences rather than societal expectations. It highlights the importance of mutual respect for lifestyle choices and parenting methods, and suggests that what truly matters in friendship is being real with one another, sharing good times, and supporting each other through life’s ups and downs.