Just a couple of weeks ago, my son had his final band concert for the year. He plays the trombone, and while his musical journey had some rocky starts earlier this year, he’s now making some beautiful music in seventh-grade band.
As I scanned the crowded auditorium, it was clear that my family looked a bit different than most. Instead of one set of parents, my son had two. Divorce is unfortunately prevalent, but it still brings an uncomfortable pang to my heart.
We had all found seats close to one another, and as we cheered for my son’s performance, I couldn’t help but reflect on our family’s new dynamics. If I hadn’t gone through a divorce, perhaps we would fit society’s idea of normal—at least on the outside. But is that what really matters?
I felt a wave of sadness for the impact divorce can have on children, not just my own but all kids facing this change. Yet, I am grateful for how resilient my children have been, adapting to this shift and showing remarkable strength as they grow into wonderful young adults.
Looking at our unique family setup, I chose to focus on gratitude amidst our new normal. My kids have two sets of parents who adore them deeply—an enriching experience that many don’t get to enjoy.
Their stepmother, Sarah, is a phenomenal woman. She showers my children with love, support, and stability, creating a nurturing environment where they thrive. Her guidance and interactions with them are heartwarming, and the respect she shows for my role as their mother means the world to me.
Equally impressive is their stepfather, Mark. He cherishes my children as if they were his own, even getting tattoos in their honor. Mark supports them unconditionally in all their pursuits and fiercely protects them. He admires their father and acknowledges the fantastic dad he is.
Not every family can boast such harmony, even those that fit the traditional mold. I know my kids are better off because of the love and commitment their stepparents invest in their lives. While many families experience a significant divide, we strive for consistency in parenting between both households. We communicate openly and support each other, which is a blessing.
Of course, it hasn’t been a walk in the park. The changes over the past few years have been monumental, and I often regret that my children had to endure something I vowed never to put them through—divorce. New homes, schools, stepparents, friends, and routines have brought about a lot of stress, something I always wanted to shield them from. But the reality is, life is filled with challenges.
I’m thankful my children have four loving parents when so many kids have none. They know they are cherished, regardless of which home they are in.
As my son’s band launched into a lively rendition of Pharrell’s “Happy,” I felt tears of joy welling up in my eyes, watching all of us cheer for the boy that four parents are fortunate to call “son.”
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In summary, while the dynamics of blended families can be complex, they can also be a source of strength, love, and enrichment for children. Embracing change and cultivating a supportive environment for our kids can lead to fulfilling relationships that transcend traditional family structures.