When my first child, Max, was an infant, he was quite average—his height and weight fluctuated between the 25th and 50th percentiles. He was a lean little guy, but those adorable chubby thighs were my favorite! However, as he grew more active and taller, that baby fat disappeared, and by his one-year check-up, he had dropped off the growth chart. The pediatrician, who was kind about it, indicated he was below the 5th percentile. Although she reassured us that many kids slim down as toddlers, she wanted to know everything he ate and asked numerous developmental questions. We agreed to monitor his growth moving forward.
Her concerns were understandable; after all, a child’s growth is important. However, as a new parent, hearing those numbers made me anxious. I had been petite as a child myself, all skin and bones until around 8 or 9, when I hit my growth spurt. Eventually, I caught up and maintained a healthy weight with curves.
Max remained in the 5th percentile for his early years, which made shopping for pants a challenge. They needed to have adjustable waists, always tightened to the maximum. Most pants, even the slimmest, never stayed on him. Yet, he was a perfectly healthy boy—full of energy, sharp as a whip, and eating reasonably well for a picky toddler.
Then, just before turning 8, he experienced a significant growth spurt. Suddenly, he wanted to eat everything! His clothes were outgrown in no time, and a small belly appeared—adorable, but no longer pinchable!
We had switched pediatricians the previous year due to insurance changes. During his 8-year check-up, I was not pleased with the new doctor. After weighing him, she remarked, “Wow, he’s gained 10 pounds. That’s fine, but we don’t want this to be a continuing pattern.” Seriously? After all those years of worrying about his small size, now I was being told this? It felt like I couldn’t win.
To make matters worse, I was taken aback by her comments in front of my child. I wished I had spoken up, but I was too flustered. The pediatrician noted he was now in the 50th percentile but cautioned us to keep him there. After a quick examination and a few shots, we were sent on our way.
I hoped Max hadn’t picked up on her tone regarding his weight, but he did. A few weeks later, he mentioned that the doctor said he was growing too quickly and might be getting fat. My heart sank. I reassured him that he was perfect just the way he was, simply growing as all kids do. I explained that sometimes children have rapid growth spurts, and it was nothing to worry about.
That’s precisely the reassurance I wish the pediatrician had provided. I was not only upset for my son and myself but also for countless parents I’ve spoken to who stress over their child’s position on the growth charts. I genuinely wonder if these charts do more harm than good.
I understand that in some cases, a child’s growth requires attention, and obesity is a significant issue that must be addressed with kindness. However, focusing solely on numbers seems counterproductive and only adds stress for both parents and children.
I have great respect for pediatricians and recognize the importance of their work in keeping children healthy. I ensure my kids attend their well visits, and I am thankful for the care they receive when issues arise. As a parent, I urge for a shift in how pediatricians discuss children’s growth. What if we viewed each child more holistically? Are they healthy, happy, and reaching milestones? Are they experiencing a growth spurt? What were the growth patterns of their parents? Is there anything genuinely concerning about their eating habits or development?
Most importantly, we need to change the conversation surrounding these numbers—especially in front of children. This goes beyond physical health; it impacts mental health, body image, and confidence. Kids of all ages and genders can be affected.
Instead of stressing parents, let’s empower them and take a more comprehensive view of health, moving beyond mere statistics. Parents have enough on their plates without feeling weighed down by comparisons of their child’s growth. A little common sense and compassion can go a long way.
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In summary, it’s crucial to focus on the overall health and happiness of our children rather than fixating on percentile numbers. We need to communicate positively about growth, nutrition, and body image to foster a supportive environment for our kids.