Recently, I embarked on a little experiment with my kids, aged 3 and 4. They’ve been quite the handful lately, filled with tantrums, whining, and plenty of chaotic moments. As someone who tends to be a “fixer,” I often feel compelled to resolve every issue. I viewed their behavior as a problem to be tackled, something I could reshape into something more manageable.
So, I decided to hold a “yes” day, believing that if I indulged them in everything they desired, it would lead to smiles, laughter, and a day that felt straight out of a heartwarming movie—hugs, joy, and maybe an uplifting song playing softly in the background.
The day unfolded with us enjoying their favorite games, crafting new ones, dancing, singing, and even donning costumes. We dove into Play-Doh, colored pictures, and I even allowed glitter—yes, glitter!—in my desperation. We visited the park, savored their beloved snacks, and I let them assist in the kitchen, whipping up muffins together.
I laughed at their jokes and celebrated each little achievement. I went all in. It was tiring but should have resulted in a spectacular day, right?
Well, here’s the twist. Nothing improved. The whining, the crying, and the screaming continued. They still felt shortchanged and acted out. In essence, they remained the same little kids.
I realized then that toddlers and preschoolers aren’t problems waiting to be fixed. In trying to eliminate their challenging behaviors, I poured my energy into a single day of “yes.” But they were still navigating their world—learning right from wrong, testing boundaries, and discovering the consequences of their actions. They are little individuals figuring out their roles within the family and exploring who they want to become.
From this experience, I understood that a single day of indulgence won’t resolve deeper issues. Not even several “yes” days can transform the essence of childhood. Children aren’t puzzles to be solved; they are beings to be cherished, taught, and nurtured. They need guidance, a listening ear, and a warm embrace rather than a day filled with unlimited treats.
Though I have a natural inclination to fix things, I learned that my role is not to change my children but to give them my best every day. Some days I have the energy to tackle puzzles or endure endless knock-knock jokes; other days, it’s a struggle. I’m human, just like them, and some days will inevitably be better than others. Yet, if I strive to offer them my all daily, I’m fulfilling my role as a parent. I must trust that this dedication will help them grow into wonderful individuals.
Moving forward, my goal is to find more joy in my journey as a mother and spend fewer nights worrying about my parenting. I hope you find the same peace of mind.
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In summary, embracing my children as they are rather than attempting to ‘fix’ them has led to a more fulfilling parenting experience. By focusing on love and guidance instead of perfection, I can nurture their growth and development.