After seven years of marriage and two kids, I can’t shake the feeling that my relationship pales in comparison to what I see on social media. My feed is flooded with declarations of undying love: “You’re my forever soulmate, my sweetie pie! I can’t imagine life without you. Our love grows stronger every single day. Love you loads! You’re the absolute best!” Sometimes I find myself clicking “like” on these posts, wishing I could muster up the same enthusiasm. Other times, I can’t help but think, didn’t she just mention secretly looking into divorce lawyers?
It can’t be just us, right? Surely we’re not the only couple navigating these choppy waters, letting stress impede healthy communication, and occasionally going to bed angry despite the ideal marriage guidelines. Perhaps there are others like us, but according to Facebook, it seems we’re the lone strugglers.
A friend once shared a thought that resonated with me: “You know 100% of your own life, but on social media, you only showcase the best 5%: your child’s first steps, that dream vacation, your graduation moment. That’s all anyone else sees. It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re comparing your entire reality to everyone else’s curated highlight reel.”
So when the #LoveYourPartner challenge started trending, I watched with a mix of curiosity and a hint of dread. Look at those gleeful couples! All the perfectly staged wedding photos! Everyone’s relationship seems flawless, while only hours earlier, I had a silly argument with my husband about something trivial.
Though I’m not against sharing the occasional feel-good post (I even participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge), I felt compelled to approach this challenge differently. Our relationship has its polished moments, but it’s so much more than just the idealized snapshots. If I were to participate, it would require sharing more than just our best moments, because that’s not the full story of our life together.
Here’s how a week of “real” posts might look:
Day 1 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
So… we have our disagreements. Often. It might be about finances, parenting styles, or the laundry. Can we please just stop discussing whatever it is? Today, I nominate any couple who has had a disagreement this month to join the challenge.
Day 2 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
We’re lost (again) and running late (again). It’s totally my fault because I can’t navigate even with Google Maps. Plus, one kid is always on the brink of sleep, while the other screams loud enough to wake them. I nominate any couple who has taken a drive just to escape the house.
Day 3 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Can a girl get a moment to herself? Nope? Perhaps I can squeeze in a glass of wine between the chaos. Today, I nominate anyone whose partner gives a thumbs-up for every selfie.
Day 4 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
At 3 a.m., a baby’s cries pierce the silence. You can only fake being asleep for so long — time for “Whose turn is it?” roulette. Today, I nominate anyone who has wished their partner could magically share the nighttime feedings.
Day 5 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
My husband is indeed in the frame — that’s him on the phone, stuck in perpetual traffic and giving me the “I’ll be home late” update. Today, I nominate everyone who understands the phrase “single-married parent” during those hectic workweeks.
Day 6 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
One of us has to stop the toddler from tumbling down the stairs, while the other is defending against boiling pasta. We are ships passing in the night during our superhero moments. I nominate any couple who can attempt a high five amidst the chaos.
Day 7 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
The kids are finally asleep, and now it’s time for “sexy time.” You know what’s really sexy? Rest! Today, I nominate any couple who has ever taken “Netflix and Chill” at face value.
The #LoveYourPartner challenge is meant to celebrate love and promote marriage, which is a noble cause. I’m all in for sharing the good stuff, but I also want to emphasize the reality: Marriage is not a perfect fairy tale. It requires effort, commitment, and the daily choice to love one another. It’s a collection of clichés that resonate because they’re true.
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Summary
Marriage isn’t always the perfect, fairy tale portrayed on social media. The #LoveYourPartner challenge encourages couples to celebrate love, but it’s also essential to acknowledge the everyday struggles and challenges that come with it. Sharing the real moments provides a more balanced view of relationships, reminding us that love is a choice made daily, not just during those sunlit wedding days.