When I was younger, playdates were pretty straightforward—if you could even call them that. They typically involved heading over to a friend’s house and asking, “Wanna play?” to which they’d respond, “Sure!” Then, it was off to the races: running around outside, building forts in the basement, or diving into video games until dinnertime. The only time you’d see a parent was when they popped in to say something like, “No more ice cream!” or “Did you finish the last of the cookies?”
Nowadays, playdates have become elaborate affairs with schedules, themed snacks, and organized activities. It feels less like a casual meetup and more like a business arrangement—everyone’s got their agenda, and parents are playing host like it’s a mini cocktail party, albeit with organic juice boxes and whole grain snacks.
I tend to favor the old-fashioned approach (shakes fist, yells at kids to get off my lawn). I much prefer relaxed, unstructured playtime, and I’m betting my kids do too. So, as long as they’re not engaging in any dangerous antics like sword fights with real weapons or attempting to set the house ablaze, I’m going to let them be. Some of the most important lessons in social interaction come from kids figuring things out on their own, and we really need to step back and let that happen.
Do you remember what it was like to play with friends? Generally, it was a blast, sprinkled with the inevitable squabbles over who got to go first or who had the best toy. But when disagreements arose, we sorted them out ourselves. Tattling wasn’t an option; if you did, your mom would simply say it was time for your friend to go home.
Despite differences in opinions about games, we rarely wanted to stop playing. We’d work it out, even if it meant threatening, “If I don’t get to be the princess, I won’t be your friend anymore!” How many friendships truly ended over a playdate spat? We learned to resolve our own issues because we had to, which helped us develop the ability to play well with others—a skill that most of us carried into adulthood.
As parents, it’s our duty to provide our kids with the guidelines for interaction: take turns, ensure everyone is included, and allow everyone a chance to express themselves. Once they grasp these basics, it’s up to the children to figure out how to apply them in real situations. Through trial and error, they learn to negotiate, share, listen, and compromise. Kids are often more capable of handling these situations than we think. By stepping in too often, we rob them of valuable learning experiences that will serve them throughout their lives.
Of course, as parental figures, there are times when intervention is necessary—especially if someone is genuinely hurt or upset. But for the most part, it’s beneficial to take a step back. Let’s allow our kids to shape their own playtime, determine their activities, and learn to tackle issues independently. We have enough on our plates without adding “child conflict mediator” to our responsibilities.
So, why not come over to my couch for a chat and some chocolate? Now that the kids are busy, I’ll show you where I hide the good stuff. And if you’re interested in more insights, check out this post on home insemination. Also, for those looking to enhance fertility, Make a Mom is a great resource. Plus, don’t forget to explore this support page for helpful information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while playdates today may seem more structured than they used to be, allowing kids the freedom to navigate their interactions can foster invaluable life skills. By stepping back, we give them the space to grow socially, learning to resolve conflicts and build friendships that can last a lifetime.