We’ve all experienced that sudden urge to expand our family, even when deep down we know it’s probably best to focus on the tiny tornadoes currently turning our homes upside down. I’ve witnessed some wild outcomes from this desire to reproduce. That eccentric cat lady we all know? She likely started with just one more kitten. And let’s not even get started on the cast of Hoarders—many of them just thought they needed one extra telephone book, and things spiraled from there.
So, if you ever feel that itch for another child but know you’re done, here are some helpful do’s and don’ts:
Do find a fun sport or exercise.
Channel that reproductive energy into something active. When you catch a glimpse of yourself in the gym mirror, it’ll serve as a reminder of the chaos your previous little ones brought into your life.
Don’t start adopting puppies.
We know they’re adorable, but let’s face it—dogs aren’t always fond of hugs. Save some cash and avoid the perpetual mess that comes with dog ownership by steering clear of impulsive pet shopping.
Do relive the experience of pregnancy woes.
If you want a blast from the past, experience a bout of food poisoning. It’s a fantastic way to remind yourself of the nausea and discomfort of pregnancy.
Don’t hold any newborns.
Seriously, keep your distance! Those adorable bundles of joy may look irresistible, but remember, they eventually evolve into toddlers—who will likely drive you to your wit’s end.
Do wake up every hour.
Set your alarm and get used to sleep deprivation again. For added authenticity, use vise grips on your nipples for a delightful reminder of the joys of breastfeeding.
Don’t browse through your kids’ baby photos with nostalgia.
Sure, those images might tug at your heartstrings, but remember that those sweet little faces will one day grow into mischief-makers who shove random objects up their noses.
Do look at your own postpartum pictures.
Especially that one where you resemble a tired Jabba the Hutt, still in a diaper days after giving birth. It’ll definitely bring you back to reality.
Don’t picture your youngest as the perfect sibling.
They’ll probably pinch that new baby behind your back and suggest you return them to the “baby store” every other day for a year.
Do invite over very pregnant friends.
They will help you see the reality of carrying a child and might just talk you out of that baby fever.
Don’t convince yourself you’re incomplete.
You are complete! Another child may just increase the chances of having your very own crazy Uncle Marvin in the family.
Do take a look at your finances.
Consider the staggering $304,480 it takes to raise a child to the age of 18. That’s a reality check you won’t forget!
Don’t dwell on what could have been.
Focus on the wonderful little beings you already have and appreciate how lucky you are.
Do write down your life goals.
Think about how another baby might interfere with what you truly want to achieve. If it doesn’t, then perhaps it’s time to set some new ambitions.
Don’t sugarcoat the huge life change.
Some may say, “Another kid is just one more body in the bathtub!” But be honest with yourself about the chaos that comes with new parenthood—remember the time you woke up with poop in your hair?
So if you genuinely crave another little one, go ahead and pursue that dream. But if your true self is content with your current family and you find yourself battling baby fever, keep this list handy and maybe consider investing in some vise grips.
For those interested in exploring options for home insemination, check out our post on intracervical insemination. For the best tools, visit Cryobaby’s Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit, an authority on this topic. And for more information on pregnancy, this WebMD article is an excellent resource.
Summary:
Navigating the urge for more children can be challenging, especially when you already have little ones running around. This guide offers humorous yet practical do’s and don’ts to help you manage those feelings, from exercise to avoiding newborns. It encourages reflection on your current life and family while providing resources for those considering home insemination.