Back-to-school shopping has always been a special outing for my daughter and me. Like me, she has developed a passion for fashion, and we often find ourselves encouraging one another (perhaps a bit too enthusiastically) to splurge on new clothes and shoes. Our tradition usually involves dining at our favorite Chinese restaurant with my sister and her daughter before embarking on a shopping spree that covers every store within a 20-mile radius. We begin planning this fun event in June, making it one of the highlights of our summer. My hope is that this cherished tradition continues long after they’ve graduated from college.
As my daughter transitions into her tween years, I’ve noticed her gravitating towards styles I wouldn’t typically choose for her. When I suggest something I find appealing, I often hear responses like, “That looks like a uniform, Mom. I’m in public school!” or “No thanks, I was into that four years ago.” She favors vibrant patterns and colors, while I tend to lean towards more muted aesthetics. Her preference for fitted jeans and the combination of shorts over leggings with graphic tees leaves no room for oversized clothing.
I keep a close eye on her choices to ensure her outfits are comfortable and not too tight, as I want her to enjoy wearing what we buy for more than just a month. However, the moment I see her expression when she looks in the mirror, I realize she isn’t comfortable in something I might have liked. She deserves to express her unique style, and I fully acknowledge that.
Reflecting back on my own teenage years, I remember working at a grocery store and wearing a pair of cutoff shorts during my break. One day, a passerby shot me a disapproving look and later complained to my manager about my attire. Although my boss defended my outfit, I felt anger and confusion. What satisfaction could that woman have gained from criticizing my choice of clothing? I wore those shorts because I liked them.
At sixteen, self-love was a challenge. I struggled with my body image, often hiding what I deemed imperfections under oversized shirts while proudly showing off my legs, which I did like. My clothing choices were about what made me feel good, not about seeking validation from others. I wore what I wanted, and it was never an invitation for anyone to make unwanted comments or judgments.
I want my daughter to have that same confidence when faced with scrutiny about her attire because I know it will happen. She should dress for herself and never feel responsible for the perceptions of others. It’s not her duty to prevent misunderstandings about her clothing choices or to protect anyone else’s feelings. I want her to embrace her body and understand that it belongs solely to her.
I’ll make sure she knows that her attire is not an invitation for inappropriate remarks or unwanted attention. While it’s unfortunate that people might judge her based on her clothing, she is not accountable for their ignorance. Her job is to love herself, dress in a way that reflects her personality, and assert herself if anyone crosses a line—regardless of what she’s wearing.
Ultimately, I want her to feel empowered in her autonomy. It’s crucial for her self-esteem and will help her cultivate a positive relationship with her body. Her clothing choices should express who she is, and I will stand behind her, even if her choices differ from what I would select.
For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out IVF Babble, as well as Make a Mom, an authority on this topic. And if you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, visit Intracervical Insemination for additional resources.