When a parent heads out for a weekend away, the one left behind often faces a daunting challenge—especially if that parent usually handles most of the childcare. Recently, Emily Carter was gearing up for a long-awaited girls’ weekend, and her cheeky list of instructions for her husband has gone viral for all the right reasons.
“I’m writing this with love, not panic,” she kicks off her note. “Before you dive into this solo parenting adventure, let’s cover a few things… Nights, mornings, and every mealtime in between can easily morph into utter chaos. Think of it as a scene from a horror movie, except way more colorful.”
Emily’s playful warning sets the tone. What follows is a detailed, often hilarious rundown of the chaos that awaits her husband with their three kids. “Prepare yourself: Mia will be furious because Ava borrowed her favorite dress, while Ava will insist on calling Mia by the wrong name. And just wait until you deal with bedtime!” she writes.
“Mealtimes will be a battlefield. Jake will demand pizza, while Lily will be in the mood for hotdogs. Good luck explaining to Mia why she can’t have her preferred mac n cheese—only the ‘purple kind’ will do, and we’re out. After a dramatic series of events, you’ll probably end up serving cereal for dinner!”
While this note may feel like a daunting task for her husband, it’s a relief to many parents who can relate to the daily whirlwind of family life.
The dreaded bedtime routine is where Emily really drives her point home. “Best of luck, my dear,” she quips. “And let’s talk pajamas. Forget everything you know. Only a nightgown will do for Ava. If you can’t find it, keep searching. She’ll demand her Minnie Mouse nightgown, but just wait until you put it on, and the meltdown ensues. Your best bet? The Elsa gown, even if it’s a bit dirty—so is she!”
At this point, any parent reading her note might be nodding in agreement, wishing they had a “Forget Pajamas” bumper sticker. Meanwhile, her husband might be contemplating a quiet corner to hide away from the impending chaos.
Emily doesn’t stop there; she continues with tips on keeping the kids in bed, the morning madness, and the reality that after all the drama, he’ll need to “do it all over again the next day.”
“Oh, and if you were hoping to get any chores done this weekend, good luck with that. Mia will cry every five minutes, and Ava will be in constant need of attention, claiming her underwear feels funny. Trust me, you’ll want to have backup underwear on hand. And since you made me get rid of most of the sippy cups, you’ll only find two—good luck keeping track of them!”
If this extensive list of notes is any indication, Emily has certainly earned her much-needed weekend away, and she knows it. She wraps up her note with a lighthearted sign-off: “Kisses, Your Wife.”
For more on managing parenthood and the intricacies of family life, check out our other posts, like this one on home insemination.
In summary, Emily’s humorous and candid letter captures the exhausting yet relatable experience of parenting, providing both entertainment and solidarity for fellow moms and dads.