Dear Family,
We cherish you and appreciate your role in our lives and in the lives of our children. Your presence means a lot to us, and we genuinely want you to visit and build a relationship with our kids. However, to foster the best interactions possible, we’d like to share a few guidelines. These aren’t meant to be burdensome rules, nor are they criticisms of past behaviors. Think of this as a friendly framework to enhance our connections.
DO NOT pressure our kids to give you hugs.
We understand that hugs can feel warm and welcoming, but our children may not always feel comfortable doing so, especially if they don’t see you often. We emphasize the importance of bodily autonomy, teaching them they don’t have to kiss or hug anyone they don’t want to – even family. Instead of a hug, a high-five or a cheerful “hello” can be just as meaningful.
DO keep gifts thoughtful and meaningful.
While we appreciate your generosity, we encourage experiences over physical items. Consider gifting an annual pass to a local zoo or children’s museum—these create lasting memories for the whole family. Toys and books are wonderful, but please avoid excessive gifts, especially those that are plastic and noisy, as our home is already brimming with things.
DO invite the kids out individually.
One-on-one outings, like a trip to the local ice cream shop or a fun day at the park, will create cherished memories and strengthen your bond with them. These little adventures will certainly make their siblings envious!
DO engage with their interests.
Instead of the usual “How’s school?” try to delve deeper into what excites them. Even toddlers have passions, whether it’s a favorite character or a love for building blocks. Your interest in what captivates them will pay dividends in your relationship down the road.
DO NOT contradict our parenting in front of them.
If we’ve set a bedtime, please refrain from suggesting they stay up later. This can undermine our authority. If you feel strongly about it, let’s discuss it privately, and we might just agree.
DO support our parenting decisions.
For instance, if we’re correcting a child’s behavior, a gentle reminder from you like, “You should listen to your mom” can reinforce our approach. This kind of support helps maintain consistency and builds respect.
DO discipline in a manner consistent with our methods when we’re not around.
If you know we use talking and separation to address misbehavior, please stick to that. Avoid harsh measures like spanking, as that conflicts with our parenting approach.
DO remember that kids will be kids.
If we’re waiting for a table and they start to act out, it’s to be expected. Children have their moments, whether it’s a messy pudding incident or a sudden fit of energy. This is just part of being a kid and doesn’t mean they’re being naughty on purpose.
By following these guidelines, we can cultivate a loving environment where everyone—parents, kids, and relatives—thrives. Again, we love you! We want our time together to be enjoyable and memorable, so let’s work together to achieve that.
If you’re interested in learning more about family dynamics and home-based support for parenting, don’t forget to check out this resource and this helpful guide on pregnancy and home insemination. For those looking into practical tools for family building, consider visiting Make A Mom.
Summary:
This letter outlines a friendly guide for relatives on engaging with children and respecting parenting choices. It emphasizes the importance of not pressuring kids for affection, encouraging thoughtful gift-giving, and supporting parents in their decisions. By fostering understanding and respect, families can create stronger bonds.