Every woman deserves the autonomy to decide whether to devote her life or even her body to carrying a pregnancy. Whether it’s a 35-year-old woman who has chosen not to have children, a 15-year-old who couldn’t access contraception, or a 23-year-old who isn’t ready to be tied down to a casual relationship, each person should have the right to say “no” to what happens within their body, regardless of their circumstances.
This has been my belief since I could engage in discussions about reproductive rights. When I shared my pro-choice stance, those who disagreed often told me, “You’ll think differently once you have kids” or “You’re still too young to understand.” As someone who tends to be more reserved, I didn’t feel compelled to defend my views further.
However, when I found out I was pregnant, the embryo inside me was no bigger than a poppy seed. While it wouldn’t be classified as a “fetus” for another few weeks, the political landscape surrounding my ability to choose whether to carry this pregnancy to term was overwhelming. Sure, some might argue that those cells are alive, but I couldn’t help but think that my skin cells are alive too—nobody protests when I exfoliate!
Now, as a mother of a cherished and planned child, I can affirm that my perspective has evolved. I do feel differently, and I feel empowered to assert my pro-choice beliefs even more strongly. I have additional insights to share.
My Experience of Pregnancy
Firstly, I didn’t experience an instantaneous love for my baby the moment that second line appeared on the test. My partner and I had extensively researched and prepared for this journey; we read books, consulted with doctors, and listened to experienced parents. The common wisdom I encountered suggested that my maternal instincts would kick in once I found out I was pregnant. This notion, it turns out, isn’t universal.
I loved the idea of having a baby, of embarking on the adventure of parenthood. While there was no doubt we would continue with the pregnancy, I found it challenging to connect my emotions to something so abstract at that early stage. All I experienced was a barrage of nausea and fatigue—sacrifices I had to endure for the chance to meet my future child.
During my pregnancy, I often had a rather stark realization. Every time I faced a wave of morning sickness, I thought about how I wouldn’t endure this if I didn’t deeply want a baby. My career suffered. My social life took a hit. My health and happiness were challenged. To reassure myself, I would remind myself of the positives: this baby was planned and healthy; I had a devoted partner; we were financially stable. But this exercise only reinforced the idea that without those positives, I might have made a different choice about this pregnancy.
The Complexity of Early Pregnancy
Being pro-choice also complicated the sobering reality of early pregnancy fragility. In our excitement, my partner and I shared our news when I was just six weeks along, rather than waiting until the risk of miscarriage decreased around the twelve-week mark. While most friends and family celebrated with us, some expressed caution, urging us to tone down our excitement until we reached the second trimester.
I recognize that I tend to surround myself with like-minded pro-choice individuals. Additionally, I became pregnant during a time when organizations like Planned Parenthood faced significant scrutiny, making discussions about personhood even more contentious. It was eye-opening to realize that while some people would have condemned me for considering an abortion, others wanted me to temper my joy about the pregnancy itself.
When I was about eight weeks along, I feared that I was experiencing a miscarriage. I mourned the potential loss of my future family and struggled to understand who would validate my grief and who would minimize it. As a pro-choice woman carrying a planned baby, I came to terms with the idea that I had the right to grieve for my embryo, while someone else might see those same cells as an unwelcome medical issue. Thankfully, I delivered a healthy baby seven months later, but this experience prompted deep reflection.
Understanding Pro-Choice
Being pro-choice doesn’t equate to being pro-abortion. It means women should have the right to choose whether or not to continue a pregnancy and face no judgment for their decisions. It also means that those who choose to carry a pregnancy to term should be able to celebrate that choice or mourn its loss without stigma, whether within the timeframe of legal abortion or the elevated risk of miscarriage.
Now, as my son flourishes at five months old, my pro-choice beliefs remain firm. My experiences during pregnancy did not alter my views about when life begins; instead, I feel grateful for the ability to choose when to expand our family, making it a blessing for my partner, my son, and me.
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In summary, my journey through pregnancy has only solidified my pro-choice beliefs. Every woman deserves the right to choose what happens to her body and her life, whether she is ready for motherhood or not.