Updated: May 29, 2017
Originally Published: Aug. 19, 2016
As I stood there with my children, the humidity was thick enough to cut with a knife while we awaited the band to begin. We were at a family-friendly music festival, and my excitement was palpable as I anticipated seeing a cover band I had adored since my college days. It wasn’t just a nostalgic moment for me; I couldn’t wait for my kids to experience live music from a band that never failed to deliver. At 10 and 13, they were at the perfect age to join my husband and me as we gathered with friends for the concert. Plus, neither child had ever seen “concert Mom” in action, and I was looking forward to sharing that side of me with them.
As beads of sweat trickled down my back and the crowd began to surge toward the stage, I reflected on how long it had been since we had a night like this. Gone were the days of strollers, strict bedtimes, and baby food; a new chapter had opened for my husband and me. Taking our kids to a concert felt exhilarating and freeing. I glanced at my son’s eager expression, his teenage acne barely visible under the stage lights, and smiled at him. My daughter, on my other side, was bubbling with excitement, even though she struggled to see over the taller concert-goers in front of her.
When the band struck up, my kids were immediately absorbed, especially my daughter. I attempted to lift her onto my hip for a better view, but the throng made it nearly impossible. However, I spotted a small opening right next to the stage—just the right place for my petite, 50-pound 10-year-old to see the action. Gradually, we made our way closer, and once we reached the front, I let her squeeze in. Staying a couple of people back to be courteous to the other fans, I kept my eye on her, her hair illuminated by the stage lights.
Her face lit up when the lead singer acknowledged her, and she beamed at the sight of the drummer, her infectious enthusiasm filling me with joy. Just as she turned back to give me a thumbs-up and a radiant smile, I prepared to capture the moment with my phone. But before I could snap the picture, a woman suddenly thrust her hand in front of my device.
“Is that your little girl?” she shouted over the music. When I confirmed, she unleashed a barrage of complaints about how my daughter was obstructing her view. “This is no place for a child!” she roared, her face flushed with anger. “I didn’t come here with my adult kids to have my night ruined by your little kid in my way!”
I stood there, stunned and speechless as the sounds of Bon Jovi faded into the background. Not wanting to escalate the situation, I reached past the woman and gently pulled my daughter back to where my husband and son were waiting. I spent the rest of the night simmering with frustration at the woman’s rudeness and her complete lack of understanding toward a small child.
Having older children can make it easy to forget the challenges of raising little ones. Our days of strollers and diapers are behind us, and I’m constantly reminded of how far we’ve come over the past 13 years. While I am secretly grateful I’m not the mom dealing with a tantrum in aisle four, I made a promise to always show compassion to mothers struggling with young children.
I will always give the mom with a toddler and a newborn priority for the bathroom stall. After all, a child can’t hold it. I will gladly help a mother load her car or hold her infant while she manages her toddler’s meltdown. Looking into her weary eyes, I’ll say, “I’ve been where you are.” I will assist my friends with young kids in attending appointments alone—no one wants a toddler observing them during a gynecological exam. I’ll keep a stash of juice boxes and Goldfish crackers on hand for the mom friend who forgot her diaper bag. Sorry, but I can’t provide a high chair! And I’ll always remember the sting of being berated by an older mother who has clearly forgotten that her now-college kids used to be 10-year-olds struggling to see over a crowd.
When the time comes that I’m the older mom at a concert, I will be the first to offer my shoulders so a child can enjoy an up-close view of the band. For additional insights on parenting and home insemination, you can check out this excellent resource from IVF Babble.
In conclusion, it’s important to retain empathy as our children grow. Those early years may be challenging, but they are also incredibly rewarding.