I’m currently breastfeeding my 2-year-old, Leo, alongside my 5-year-old, Max. Yes, I’m one of those tandem breastfeeders you hear about! I don’t share many pictures of Max nursing these days, as he usually only nurses at bedtime or briefly during the day when he remembers. So, the photos you see are mostly of Leo, who still nurses quite often.
Recently, someone commented on a photo I posted, stating that “he’s too old to breastfeed.” I was shocked because I thought I had posted a picture of Leo. I checked, and indeed it was Leo—the baby. Apparently, at just 2 years old, he’s considered too old to breastfeed. I had to restrain myself from posting a picture of Max in response to that comment, just to see what they’d say about that!
There’s so much wrong with this viewpoint that it’s hard to know where to begin. I can’t stand how our society pressures young children to grow up so fast. Leo may not be a newborn, but if you’ve ever spent time with a 2-year-old, you know they’re still quite close to that stage. They may be able to say a few words and have some wobbly motor skills, but they still seem like little babies to me! I’m sure some people would be quick to correct me by saying, “He’s a toddler now, you have to let him grow up!” But trust me, I have no intention of forcing him to grow up faster than he’s ready for.
This obsession with labeling our children just feeds into the idea that they should be older than they are. At the playground, I often hear parents warning their older kids, “Watch out for the baby!” and I think it sounds just right.
I remember this with Max too. I was so eager for him to grow that when he turned 1, I declared he was no longer a baby but a toddler! Looking back at pictures of 1-year-old Max, I can’t help but see baby Max.
Right now, I go by my own feelings. Just because Max can talk like a little adult doesn’t change the fact that he’s still very young—much closer to being a baby than a grown-up. And Leo still feels very much like a baby to me. Just like breastmilk doesn’t suddenly change once a child reaches a certain age, neither do our kids. I’ll call Leo a baby until he no longer feels like one.
Is a 2-year-old really too old to breastfeed? What a sad state of affairs we’re in! Was he too old at 23 months? 22 months? Who makes these arbitrary rules about breastfeeding? Someone should let Leo know he’s too old; he seems blissfully unaware of it, nursing whenever he wants, as if it’s perfectly normal.
Women face enough challenges as it is; the stigma surrounding breastfeeding and our bodies can be overwhelming. It’s disheartening when someone judges a mother simply feeding her child with love and care. A 2-year-old is too old to breastfeed? Really?
I love how my perspective has evolved over the years. To me, Leo is still a young nursling, while Max feels like the norm. I know that five years ago, I would have cringed at the thought of nursing a 5-year-old. But the truth is, nobody asked for your opinion, so keep it to yourself!
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In summary, breastfeeding a 2-year-old is completely normal, and societal pressures to rush children into adulthood are misguided. Each child develops at their own pace, and it’s important to honor and embrace that journey.