We thought we were doing everything right to keep our family safe. We chose a neighborhood with caring neighbors and wide, well-lit streets. Our children attend a school district celebrated for its excellent educators and its low incidents of violence and drug use. Our kids are trained to dial 9-1-1 and know to seek help from a neighbor if we’re not home. Concepts like “Stranger Danger” — scream, kick, and yell if someone grabs you; find a mom if you’re lost — were instilled in them from an early age.
But despite following all the safety guidelines, our daughter was approached by a potential predator while walking our dog in our seemingly secure, tree-lined neighborhood. While stranger abductions are rare, they do happen, and this incident served as a harsh reminder for our family.
One summer morning, I was caught up in the whirlwind of summer activities. Juggling work deadlines, arranging camp drop-offs, and trying to squeeze in a workout had me flustered. My 11-year-old daughter, oblivious to my chaos, had decided to sleep in. When I asked her to join me at the gym, book in hand, she pleaded, “Can’t I just stay here? The dog needs a walk anyway. Pleeeease?”
In my rushed state, I agreed, reminding her of my whereabouts and how to reach me. As I drove away with my son in the front seat, I saw her skip down the street with our dog trotting beside her in the warm sun. I thought, “I’ll only be gone an hour. She’ll be fine. My neighbors are home.”
But she wasn’t fine. While taking her usual half-mile loop at the end of our street, a strange man slowly drove by and stopped. He rolled down his window and started asking her questions about our dog. “What’s her name? What breed is she? How old is she?” Then he turned the conversation toward our daughter, asking personal details like her name and age.
Despite her instinct to be polite, warning signals were blaring in her mind. She felt uneasy as he continued to engage her, almost like he was trying to distract her. Thankfully, she chose to run home, and he drove away. By sheer luck, she made it back safely.
After reporting the incident to our local police department, I learned some important lessons:
- Cell Phones for Children: Children should carry a cell phone when away from parents. If my daughter had one that day, she could have called 9-1-1 immediately. The mere action of dialing could have been enough to deter the potential predator.
- Adults Don’t Need Help from Kids: My daughter recognized something was off because “Dads don’t stop to talk to little girls they don’t know.” Teach your kids that adults shouldn’t require assistance from them. If a stranger asks for help, it’s a red flag.
- Stay Out of Reach: If a stranger approaches in a vehicle, children should maintain a safe distance. It only takes seconds for a kid to be grabbed through an open window. Remind them that if they can touch the car, they are too close.
- Being Rude Can Save Lives: Our daughter hesitated to ignore the man because she didn’t want to seem rude. We’ve practiced responses like yelling “Leave me alone!” and reinforced that she owes strangers nothing, not even a polite smile.
- Never Let Your Guard Down: This has been the hardest lesson for us to accept. While we want to believe the best in people, we must remain vigilant about safety when our kids are out of sight. It’s okay to appear overprotective if it keeps them safe.
Despite how terrifying this experience was, I’m grateful it happened to us. Our children now understand the reality of the threats we’ve warned them about, and it has sparked important safety discussions in our home. Most importantly, it has shown me how brave my daughter truly is.
For more information on home insemination, check out this helpful post. If you’re on a couples fertility journey, this site is a great resource. For those seeking guidance on pregnancy and fertility, UCSF offers excellent information.
In summary, our experience was a wake-up call, highlighting the need for continuous vigilance and open communication about safety with our children.