As we prepare to send our 18-year-old son, Jake, off to college later this week, I’m struck by the reality that I have just a few days left to address some final parenting tasks before he embarks on this new adventure. A growing pile of “Must Remember!” items near the door serves as a reminder that he’s about to dive into the vast ocean they call the real world.
1. After tuition, your funds will likely exceed mine.
I’m relieved we had that important discussion about finances today. When you asked how you’d manage your expenses while away at school, your reaction hinted you weren’t fully aware of the situation.
Jake, we’re covering your tuition, textbooks, accommodation, and a meal plan that could power a small army. I also remember all those graduation checks that piled up last May. You’ve got more money in your account than I do, so please, use it!
When you hesitated to spend any of that hard-earned cash on essentials like shampoo, I couldn’t help but see a bit of your dad in you. He’s notorious for hoarding those tiny hotel shampoo bottles from his business trips. But let’s be real—are you planning any of those escapades? Just buy the shampoo already! Think of it this way: when your Grandmothers ask how you spent that graduation money, saying “on hygiene products” sounds better than “suds.”
2. Laundry isn’t rocket science.
For years, people have told me I was spoiling you by doing your laundry. But I didn’t mind—after all, you were busy with sports and maintaining those impressive grades. When friends expressed concerns about your laundry skills before heading off to college, I reassured them that I could teach anyone the ropes in just five minutes. And yes, that includes you, my beloved son.
Today, we tackled the laundry task, and I was proud of your progress, even if your clothes came out a bit wrinkled. When I suggested smaller loads would help, your response—claiming it would take too long—stung a little. Did you know that was a jab at my very existence? I do laundry for a living!
As you grow older, remember that “free time” is a myth. Any intelligent person can tell you that.
3. My role as your parent is never-ending.
Don’t think for a moment that I’ll stop parenting you just because you’re heading off to college. Last night, when you stayed at a friend’s house a bit too late, I texted to check in, only to receive a rather nonchalant reply. I know you’ll soon be on your own, and I won’t have the luxury of knowing where you are, but I’ll continue to offer guidance every step of the way—up the dorm stairs, down the hall, and right into your room.
Spoiler alert: When you return home for the holidays, I’ll pick up right where I left off. If that doesn’t sit well with you, maybe you should plan a business trip then. You could always grab some shampoo while you’re at it. Just a thought.
In summary, as you step into this exciting new chapter, remember that while you’re gaining independence, I’ll always be here to support you. And hey, make sure to check out some resources on fertility and home insemination if you ever need them, like this excellent article for insights into the process.