It’s been five years since my mother passed away. Each year, as the anniversary of her death rolls around, I find myself grappling with the bewildering nature of time. I’ve documented these feelings in previous years, often reflecting on my children who have become the heart of my journey through grief. It’s astonishing how loss can heighten our awareness as parents.
Time stops us in our tracks: one moment, my boys are sprouting facial hair, and the next, my daughters are evolving into remarkable young women (with — yikes! — boyfriends). Our calendars fill up with commitments that seem to multiply overnight. How many times have we all heard the phrase, “Where did the time go?” echoing in social media posts? It’s a daily refrain.
This year, however, feels different. While I still marvel at how swiftly time passes (and yes, I can hardly believe that half of my children are now of legal drinking age), I find myself less overwhelmed by its speed. Instead, I embrace the present moment. There’s a refreshing excitement in anticipating what lies ahead. Even on tough days, this shift in perspective keeps me hopeful for the future.
From graduations and college milestones to engagements and career achievements, there’s so much joy in our lives. If my mom were still here, she would be furious if she sensed anything less than happiness surrounding her grandkids. I can’t help but smile, knowing that she wouldn’t want me to dwell in sadness.
As I reflect on her legacy, I realize that reaching 50 this year has been a catalyst for change. Fifty. Can you believe it? I’m still surprised by how quickly I got here! It brings back memories of planning her 50th surprise party, where we crammed her friends into my tiny apartment for a keg party. Although she wasn’t a beer drinker, we all enjoyed ourselves, and she felt loved, surrounded by friends.
On days like today, I think of the friends my mother left behind and feel their sadness deeply. It’s a reminder of the void she created in their lives. But she also taught me the value of friendship. Like her, I’ve surrounded myself with caring friends that I would do anything for, whether they are a phone call away or a flight across the country.
I often think of the cherished friendship I have with Sarah, which has stood the test of time. We’ve shared so many memories, from the time I sent her an Erma Bombeck column that she kept for years to the moment it returned to me on my 30th birthday. It’s a sweet reminder of how fortunate I am to have a friendship that has endured for over four decades.
As I honor my mother today, I recognize how profoundly she shaped my life and the lives of others. You are on so many minds today, Mom. Cheers to you and the love you’ve imparted to all of us.
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