You’re just being lazy.
Why can’t you just get things done?
I’ve heard these hurtful remarks from friends, family, and even casual acquaintances. They see the surface of my life but are oblivious to the turmoil that rages within. When they utter these words, it’s like pouring salt into the open wound of my depression. So, let me clarify a few things.
To those who label me as lazy, I want to assure you that this is far from the truth. Typically, I am a motivated and ambitious individual. However, there are days when my depression has a tight grip on me, and on those days, I often hide from you. You see me when I’m at my best, but when I’m struggling, I retreat because I dread hearing your judgments. When I don’t meet your expectations, you misinterpret it as laziness, but it’s so much more complicated than that.
On my more difficult days, I’m not just unproductive; I’m overwhelmed. I feel weak, exhausted, and often consumed by sadness. It’s not that I choose to lie in bed; it’s that my depression has immobilized me, leading to feelings of worthlessness. When you mistake this struggle for laziness, it deepens my sense of inadequacy.
As for the accusations of procrastination, I can’t deny that I do put things off. However, it’s not a choice made out of disregard; rather, it stems from a profound lack of mental energy. My depression often forces me to focus on my feelings, which are anything but pleasant. I feel unprepared and undervalued, making even simple tasks seem insurmountable. A little understanding during these tough times would go a long way.
To those who say I never follow through, I must emphasize that this isn’t accurate. When I’m feeling well, I have no trouble completing tasks. But when I’m in a depressive state, I can become easily overwhelmed, leading to unfinished projects. This only compounds my feelings of worthlessness. It’s disheartening to hear you point out my struggles when I’m already battling my own inner demons.
I wish I could function at my usual capacity during these dark moments, but it’s a challenge. It’s hard to maintain normalcy when I’m grappling with fatigue, sadness, and self-doubt. So please, understand that I am not lazy or irresponsible; my depression is a powerful barrier.
I hope this message sheds light on my experience. Next time you think I’m being lazy, please consider my circumstances and offer support rather than criticism. Understanding my depression is what I truly need and deserve—not judgment.
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