Marriage has been a journey of self-discovery for me. It’s not solely my partner, Alex, who has shaped my growth; it’s my openness to change and the experiences we’ve shared. Alex has also learned from me, and together we’ve navigated the ups and downs of married life. Here are the most significant lessons I’ve gathered along the way:
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The Early Years are the Toughest
Those initial years can be quite the eye-opener. You blend your lives, only to discover quirks, like your spouse drinking straight from the milk jug. But as time goes on, things get easier. You learn to let the small stuff slide while standing firm on what truly matters. Eventually, you reach a point where silence speaks volumes, although sometimes, you still have to address the milk jug situation. -
Toilet Seat Arguments Aren’t Worth It
Save your energy for discussions that matter, like who takes the next midnight diaper duty. -
Invest in a Carpet Cleaner
We bought our Rug Doctor before we even had kids, and it has since become a vital tool in our household. Whether it’s a mess from a toddler or a pet, this investment has saved our sanity (and our carpets). -
Makeup Isn’t Mandatory
While it feels nice to look polished, when you’re both running on fumes from sleepless nights, your partner isn’t focused on your makeup skills. True beauty often lies in the moments of raw authenticity. -
Kids Will Drain Your Energy
Children require time, attention, and a surprising amount of brain space. You’ll find yourself thinking about them constantly. It’s essential to prioritize your connection with your partner to prevent drifting into strangers over time. -
Communication Evolves
In a home filled with young children, sometimes you have to raise your voice to be heard. Yet, as you work through challenges together, your communication skills strengthen. Over time, you’ll find yourself arguing less and understanding each other more profoundly. -
Cherish Your Limited Time Together
Whether it’s sharing a quiet drink on the porch after the kids are asleep or a brief chat during the day, those moments become precious. The time you once took for granted is now a treasured mini getaway. -
Laundry Will Be Your Constant Companion
Prepare for an endless cycle of laundry. You might even dream about it. On particularly overwhelming days, you’ll contemplate drastic measures to get it done quicker. -
Cooking Skills Aren’t Essential
You don’t need to be a master chef to keep everyone alive. As long as you can whip up a peanut butter sandwich or boil some pasta, you’re golden. A jar of spaghetti sauce counts as gourmet in our house! -
Different Interests are Healthy
Initially, I wanted to share everything with Alex, but as time passed, I learned the value of alone time. Having separate hobbies fosters independence and helps you remember your individuality. -
Everyone Needs Downtime
I once thought I was the only one needing a break, but I learned that Alex worked just as hard all day. Recognizing each other’s efforts and allowing time to recharge is vital for a happy home. -
You’ll Change Together
You and your partner will not be the same people you were on your wedding day, and that’s the beauty of it. Embracing growth and change fosters a deeper understanding and connection, enriching your family life and teaching your children about love and partnership.
One of the best pieces of advice I received about marriage was, “Some days, you’ll question your choice in partners.” You will indeed have those moments. You might wonder if you should have taken a different path. But if you’re both willing to put in the work, your friendship will deepen, and your partnership will thrive. Sometimes you’ll give more, and sometimes you’ll take more, but together, you’ll overcome challenges until you find yourselves saying, “We’ve got this!”
And while you may never get your spouse to stop drinking from the milk jug, perhaps you can negotiate those late-night diaper changes!
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In summary, marriage is a transformative journey filled with growth, love, and the occasional challenge. Embrace the changes, communicate openly, and cherish those quiet moments together.