I find myself in the kitchen, feeling frustrated and shouting, “I need help!” My hands, encased in oven mitts, wave desperately in the air. “Dinner is ready! And there’s someone at the front door!” Yet, despite my pleas, it feels like I’m talking to a wall. Six kids in the house, and not a single one pauses their video games, homework, or TV shows to see why their mom is frantically calling out.
With my oven mitts still on, I storm to the front door, only to see the UPS delivery person retreating to their truck. A wave of annoyance washes over me, and I contemplate yelling, “Move along!” as a way to vent my frustration. Instead, I gather the packages and head back inside, still seething.
“Dinner!” I call again, my face flushed as I notice the pot on the stove is on the verge of boiling over while the table remains unset. I start calling names — not just of my children, but even the neighbors’ kids for good measure. “Everyone, get to the kitchen now!” I hear footsteps approaching, but only one child, bleary-eyed and oblivious, emerges from the next room.
After a long day filled with laundry, errands, and a frustrating hour spent fixing the garbage disposal (thanks to a plastic spoon that found its way down the sink), my patience is wearing thin. In a moment of overflow, I shout, “I can’t believe how selfish you all are!” and toss my oven mitts down in dramatic fashion. “Make your own dinner!” I storm upstairs, determined to take a breather.
Just a few minutes later, I return to find the table set and six faces looking back at me expectantly. As I finish dinner prep, I take a deep breath and say, “I’m sorry. I was overwhelmed and needed your help, but I shouldn’t have yelled.” They nod in understanding. It’s a familiar routine for us — I’ve made this mistake before, and they’ve learned to accept my apologies with a mix of grace and humor.
“We should have come to help sooner,” my daughter Anna says, looking around at her siblings, who offer various nods of agreement. It’s not a jubilant response, but it’s a step in the right direction. In our household, we’re all learning the art of apologizing together.
Growing up, my mother taught me the importance of how we phrase our apologies. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry if…” she emphasized saying, “I’m sorry that…” The distinction is crucial — the first implies uncertainty about the wrongdoing, while the second takes full responsibility.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you.” versus “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”
There’s real power in an apology, especially when it’s sincere. A week ago, a friend confided in me, wondering if he should apologize to his son for past mistakes. It was a heartfelt apology that he felt was long overdue, a moment of reflection that could heal old wounds. “Here’s what I think I should say,” he shared, and his words were beautiful, full of remorse and love.
“It’s perfect,” I told him, “but remember to say ‘I’m sorry’ too.” Sometimes, it really is that simple. At the end of the day, all a child wants to hear is a heartfelt acknowledgment of our fallibility: “I love you, and I respect you enough to admit that I make mistakes too.”
As parents, we are human. We stumble, we forget, and we sometimes misstep. With a little luck, we learn from our blunders, apologize, and move forward with renewed strength. It’s vital to let our children see that we, as mothers and fathers, are imperfect beings. Sooner or later, they’ll realize this truth on their own. And I believe they will love us for it — or perhaps because of it.
In acknowledging our shortcomings, they also witness our efforts and our genuine desire to get it right in the end. For more insights on parenting, check out this resource. And for those considering the journey to parenthood, resources like this one can be invaluable. Additionally, the CDC offers excellent information for anyone navigating this exciting chapter of life.
Summary:
Apologizing to my kids is an important part of our family dynamic. It’s about taking responsibility for my actions and showing my children that it’s okay to make mistakes. Through heartfelt apologies, we foster understanding and growth in our relationships. By modeling how to apologize, we create an environment where everyone learns and grows together.