Sending Your Child with ADHD Off to Kindergarten Without Shame

self insemination kit

Today, I sent my youngest son off to kindergarten. I anticipated feeling ecstatic as he took this big step, but instead, I found myself filled with mixed emotions. He is my “active” child—my days with him are often spent managing chaos, a practice I affectionately call “redirecting.” By the end of each day, I am drained and sometimes teetering on the edge of tears. The idea of having a few hours to myself felt liberating. I could enjoy simple activities with my daughter, like visiting a museum or taking a stroll in the park, without being on high alert for potential mishaps.

Last night, as I tucked him into bed, he voiced the typical concerns of a child about to embark on their educational journey.

“Will I have to bring my school supplies home every day?”

“No, sweetheart. They’ll stay at school.”

“But what if I have homework?”

“You’ll bring home any work that needs to be done, and everything else will be at home.”

“What if I have to cut paper?”

“We have scissors here, love.”

“We do? Where?”

“I’m not telling you right now; I’ll get them when we need them.”

“What if my teacher yells at me?”

“Why would your teacher yell at you?”

“Because I’m bad. I’m always bad. What if she hates me?”

His words caught me off guard. I had never thought he viewed himself as a “bad kid.” Yes, he often needs reminders about household rules and spends more time alone in his room than his siblings do, reflecting on why it’s not okay to throw a bat across the yard or flood the bathroom. Sometimes, he is sent to his room for screaming at the top of his lungs when his favorite contestant on a show doesn’t win.

Even so, we’ve never labeled his behavior as “bad.” My husband and I actively strive to respond positively, even in situations that could lead to frustration—like when his younger sister parades into the room with a Sharpie mustache. We reward his good behavior with stickers and praise, frequently reminding him of our love for him. Yet, despite our efforts, he perceives himself as deserving of “hate” from his soon-to-be teacher. Hearing him express that broke my heart.

He is so young yet already grappling with feelings of shame that often accompany the challenges of ADHD. My little boy, with his sparkling blue eyes and gentle spirit, shows kindness in so many ways. He lovingly covers his sister with a blanket when she drifts off on the couch. He cheers loudly for his older brother during baseball games, exclaiming, “Yes! Great hit, Max!” And he dances around his room singing “Wrecking Ball” into his toy microphone, blissfully unaware of anyone watching. It pains me to think he believes he is “bad.”

As he walked toward the enormous school doors (which suddenly seemed so much larger), I felt tears welling up. He blended into the throng of children, dwarfed by his hefty backpack and older kids surrounding him. He never looked back, my courageous little man. I knew he was anxious, but he bravely ventured into this new world. I hope it embraces him and recognizes the sweet boy who once raced two blocks to check on his brother after a bike fall.

I returned to my car, tears streaming down my face, and my daughter asked, “What’s wrong, Mommy?” I tried to gather myself and replied, “I’m just going to miss that boy so much.” She looked up at me with understanding and said, “I know Mommy. He’s my best boy. I will really miss my good boy.”

Oh, how I wish the world could see him as we do.

If you want to learn more about home insemination, check out this informative article. For a deeper understanding of self-insemination, Make A Mom has excellent resources. Additionally, Johns Hopkins Medicine offers valuable information on fertility and insemination options.

In summary, sending your child to kindergarten can be an emotional experience, especially for those of us with children who face unique challenges like ADHD. It’s crucial to foster a positive self-image in our kids while navigating the ups and downs of parenting.