My 4-year-old, Emma, fancies herself the ultimate authority on everything, from culinary rules (food must never touch!) to the proper way to say “purple” (she’s convinced it’s “purtle”). Her opinions are as abundant as they are amusing, especially when it comes to my wardrobe choices.
“Why don’t you wear that fancy black thing?” she exclaimed one hot afternoon as we prepared for a neighborhood gathering.
“Sweetheart, it’s 90 degrees outside, and that ‘fancy thing’ is a wool shawl. I’m just not ready for your fashion critique today,” I replied, feeling a hint of sarcasm.
Like many kids her age, Emma believes she’s been around forever and therefore knows it all. Combine that with a strong will, and I find myself embroiled in the most ludicrous debates daily. However, I’ve picked up a few tricks for navigating these seemingly impossible conversations. Here’s how you can come out on top in a discussion with your strong-willed 4-year-old:
“Hey there, Emma! I know you want to wear whatever you like, but that outfit may not be the best choice right now.”
“I feel like a princess!” she insists, proud of her unique ensemble.
“I get it, and I appreciate your creativity! But it’s summertime, and those are leg warmers and snow boots.”
“Yes, they are covering your legs, but it’s sweltering outside.”
“It’s as hot as lava!” she giggles, recalling our playful game of “don’t touch the hot lava” with pillows scattered all over the floor.
“Yes, that was super fun, and we can absolutely play that again later. But right now, we’re running late for the party.”
I try to reason with her, “The main issue is that your dress has become more of a shirt due to your growth spurt. I know it covers your bottom, but that doesn’t quite meet the definition of a dress.”
“No, it’s not,” she argues, her stubbornness shining through.
“Oh, come on! If you really want to wear that shirt and not a dress, you at least need to find some shorts to go with it—and lose the leg warmers and boots.”
She insists, “But I look like a superhero princess!”
“Well, you’ll be a superhero princess of fire if you walk outside like that!” I say with a laugh, quickly apologizing to avoid more tears.
“Let’s just find some shorts and different shoes, okay?”
“Yes, you always need to wear shoes! Well, not at the beach, but we aren’t going there today.”
“Next Christmas, maybe,” she retorts, and I can’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed.
In the end, I think she might have ended up in shorts, but the details are hazy—partly because I was so exhausted. Perhaps we should just let each other wear what we want as long as we stay appropriately covered.
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Summary
Navigating arguments with a strong-willed 4-year-old can be quite a challenge. By understanding their perspective and gently guiding them toward more practical choices, you can find a balance that respects their creativity while maintaining a semblance of order. Remember, sometimes it’s about picking your battles and allowing a little flexibility when it comes to fashion choices.