Stop Dictating How Moms Should Spend Their Time

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Every new day starts with grand intentions to tackle my lengthy to-do list, yet by evening, I find myself drained and reflecting on all that remains undone. Despite my best efforts and motivation, the hours seem insufficient to manage a list that perpetually expands.

While scrolling through my feed—yes, the irony is not lost on me—I frequently encounter “experts” proclaiming that if I can spare a moment for social media, snack time, or an extended bathroom break, then surely I have time to work out, meditate, or improve my life in some way. Their mantra of “no excuses” echoes loudly as they flaunt their six-pack abs, a college degree attained while juggling an 80-hour work week, and a thriving side business—all while managing to look polished every day. If they can do it, they often ask, why can’t I? After all, we all share the same 24 hours as Beyoncé!

In theory, I could fill every minute with productivity and likely accomplish more. However, I wonder where “doing what I enjoy” fits into this equation. Where do a few moments of leisure land on the productivity scale?

Sure, I might technically have the time, but time alone isn’t enough. It’s akin to baking; possessing flour and sugar doesn’t ensure a cake will materialize. You need other essential ingredients, like genuine interest and enjoyment. After a day spent on obligatory tasks, I absolutely deserve to carve out a few moments for what brings me joy—even if that means doing absolutely nothing.

The reality is, people often make excuses for not pursuing these lofty goals because they are challenging. Achieving remarkable results demands consistent, sustained effort, and sometimes, we’re just too fatigued from our personal circumstances to muster the energy to try. It’s not merely about the hours in a day; it’s about the emotional and mental fatigue that comes from our daily struggles. The thought of attempting something new, only to fail, can often feel more disheartening than not trying at all.

Well-intentioned encouragement from others can sometimes backfire, leading to feelings of inadequacy and the nagging sense that I’m not managing my time wisely. This isn’t beneficial. My emotional health is crucial, not just for me but for the family that depends on me. If that means forgoing hours at the gym or sacrificing time for a side project, so be it. Mom guilt is already overwhelming without adding another voice telling me that I could achieve so much more if I weren’t so lazy or unmotivated.

Even if I did pursue those activities, I know my inner critic would find something else to undermine any sense of accomplishment: “You could have spent that workout time reading to the kids” or “How can you justify an hour of relaxation when that kitchen floor needs mopping?” If I’m going to feel guilty regardless of how I spend my time, I’d prefer to do something that brings me joy.

I’m not saying I’ll never dedicate my time to achieving something extraordinary; it just has to be something that resonates with me personally—not something that someone else insists I should prioritize because they did.

Conclusion

Let’s give moms the freedom to choose how they spend their time without the pressure of external expectations. It’s about finding what truly matters to us and embracing it.

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Summary: The article discusses the pressures mothers face regarding how they should spend their time, emphasizing the importance of personal choice over societal expectations. It advocates for self-care and the freedom to prioritize activities that bring joy and fulfillment, rather than adhering to a rigid productivity standard.