If you’ve ever been a kid, you’ve likely heard it, and if you’re a parent, you’ve probably said it: Honesty is the best policy. But when it comes to interacting with fellow moms, that principle sometimes goes out the window. We may not be telling enormous, hurtful lies — we’re truthful about the important things — but when it comes to protecting feelings or self-esteem, we might bend the truth a little.
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Your child behaved well.
The first question on every mom’s mind after a playdate is, “How did my little angel behave?” If your kid committed a major faux pas, like launching a toy through the window or giving the dog a questionable haircut, I’d let you know. Otherwise, I’ll likely say, “He was wonderful!” Because even if he was a bit of a handful, I get that kids have their off days, and I don’t want you feeling like a bad parent because of it. -
Your child is precious.
Every parent sees their child as uniquely beautiful, but asking others to echo that sentiment puts them in a bind. When you say, “Isn’t she just adorable?” what you mean is “Aren’t her features lovely?” To which I’ll reply, “Absolutely!” while thinking, “I hope she doesn’t inherit Uncle Jerry’s big nose.” So yes, your kid is cute — maybe not in the way you envision, but cute nonetheless. -
Your child is perfectly normal.
Every mom has experienced worry about her child’s development at some point. Luckily, most of those fears are unfounded since children grow and learn at their own pace. So if you express concern that your child hasn’t hit certain milestones yet, I’ll reassure you that it’s nothing to stress over, and your child is perfectly on track. Am I a medical expert? No, but I don’t want to amplify your worries either. -
Sorry about the chaos.
Before you arrive, I frantically tidy up, shoving stray toys and cleaning crumbs, just to make my home seem presentable. But if I apologize for the mess when it’s actually not too bad, perhaps you’ll think my house is usually spotless. -
Don’t worry about tidying up.
One of my least favorite aspects of hosting is the inevitable mess that follows playdates. Yet I always say, “Oh, don’t bother cleaning up!” when in reality, I would appreciate a little help. I suppose it’s because I know how tough it can be to get kids to pick up after themselves, and I don’t want you to feel awkward if your child drags their feet. -
Sorry, we can’t make it because…
Is my child under the weather? Do I have an appointment? Truth be told, I’m declining for a myriad of reasons: maybe I’m simply not up for socializing, or perhaps my child is being a handful. So I concoct a more socially acceptable excuse that doesn’t make me seem petty or dismissive. -
My child is doing that too!
We all fall into the trap of comparing our kids to others, even though it’s pointless. So when you mention that your child — who’s the same age as mine — is already mastering the potty or reading, I can’t resist chiming in. Okay, so maybe by “using the potty,” I mean that one time I caught him mid-accident and whisked him to the bathroom. And by “reading,” I mean reciting his favorite story from memory. But who needs to know those little details? -
You look fantastic!
You stumble into my home looking like you just survived a zombie apocalypse, complete with dark circles and a questionable stain on your shirt. You apologize for your appearance, but even if you feel less than fabulous, I’m going to tell you that you look great. I know how it feels to be self-conscious, and pointing out the obvious wouldn’t help either of us.
While we might share a few harmless fibs with fellow moms, these little white lies are not malicious — they’re simply ways we support each other’s self-esteem. They stem from good intentions, and that’s the honest truth.
For more insights on parenting, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, or explore this helpful guide about your fertility journey. Additionally, you might find this post informative as you navigate your parenting path.
In summary, moms often share little white lies to support one another and maintain confidence. These innocent fibs are a part of the parenting experience, highlighting the camaraderie among mothers.