The other day, while driving with my daughter, I tuned into our local radio station where a female DJ was discussing the new British prime minister, Emma Grant. She referred to her as a “difficult” woman for not tolerating nonsense. It struck me how often we label assertive women this way. I decided to turn off the radio and have a heart-to-heart with my daughter about the strength of being seen as “difficult.”
I want my daughter to embrace her fiery spirit and own her identity as a girl boss—not a bossy girl; there’s a distinct difference. I’m proud that she’s already learned to stand her ground at such a young age, showing remarkable resilience. However, as she grows, I know she’ll face challenges that test her ability to be the boss of herself. Here are seven ways I’m nurturing her confidence and assertiveness.
1. Take Charge of Your Body
Your body is your own, and you have the right to decide who gets to be close to it. Remember, if you initially agree to something but later change your mind, that’s perfectly valid. Dress for yourself, not for anyone else’s approval. People may comment on your choices, but your comfort and confidence in your appearance are what truly matter.
2. Own Your Needs
It’s essential to ask for what you want but also to prioritize your own happiness. Too often, we think external factors will bring us joy, but true contentment comes from within. Understand what you need to feel fulfilled, and don’t rely on others to fill a void—that never leads to lasting happiness.
3. Express Your Voice
Always use your own voice instead of trying to conform. You are unique, and that’s your strength. While it may be tempting to temper your opinions to avoid conflict, the right people in your life will appreciate your authenticity. Speak up; some may label you as bossy or difficult, but never let that silence you.
4. Trust Your Feelings
Your emotions are valid—acknowledge them. Stuffing them down will only cause them to resurface. Make it a habit to express your feelings in healthy ways, ensuring that no one can dismiss the truth of your emotions.
5. Be Accountable for Your Actions
Mistakes are part of growth. When you stumble, own up to it, apologize if necessary, and move forward. Don’t let peer pressure dictate your choices; your actions reflect your values, so stay true to yourself.
6. Listen to Your Intuition
Your intuition is a powerful guide. When something feels off, pay attention. It’s your inner compass, and it will never steer you wrong.
7. Share Your Opinions
Don’t hesitate to voice your thoughts, even in heated moments. While you might lose your cool sometimes, remember that words matter. Speak from your heart, and ensure that what you say is worth saying.
I anticipate having many more conversations like this as my daughter matures. Standing up for oneself isn’t easy, and I sometimes struggle with it myself. But I want her to witness my journey, even if it means being labeled as difficult or confrontational. I’ve found that many women deemed “difficult” are simply focused on achieving their goals, and I’m proud to embrace that label. I hope my daughter will too.
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Summary:
Empowering my daughter to be a confident girl boss means teaching her to take charge of her body, needs, voice, feelings, actions, intuition, and opinions. By nurturing her assertiveness and authenticity, I aim to prepare her for the challenges ahead while encouraging her to embrace her fiery spirit.