The moment I discovered I was expecting my third child, my routine took an unexpected turn. The very next day, I found myself navigating the stairs with my energetic 2-year-old and 1-year-old in tow. This cheerful morning ritual of singing a silly song, “Three Little Ones,” was about to shift in a major way. It dawned on me that as my pregnancy progressed, carrying both toddlers would soon be a challenge I couldn’t handle. So, I decided to gently set them down and take their hands instead. The reaction? Not pretty. There were tears, wails, and what felt like a mini tornado of toddler chaos. They were not interested in my growing belly or the exhaustion that came with it; they simply wanted to be carried.
In the past, I might have offered them snacks or engaged them in breakfast preparation to redirect their attention. But I quickly realized that with a new sibling arriving, I needed to prioritize feeding and soothing the baby, and sometimes, that meant letting the toddlers express their feelings—loudly. I was so focused on not neglecting my oldest when my daughter was born that I inadvertently tried to maintain an impossible pace. As my family grew, I understood that a few changes were necessary. Here’s what I stopped doing:
1. I Stopped Allowing Visitors at the Hospital.
When the big day arrived, I made it clear that only a select few, whom my husband called on the way to the hospital, were welcome. I didn’t want a crowd waiting outside my room while I dealt with the emotional and physical challenges of childbirth. I craved solitude with my husband and newborn, seeking rest during my brief hospital stay.
2. I Stopped Overexerting Myself.
Having three kids meant chaos multiplied. With three little ones often crying, needing to be fed, and wanting attention simultaneously, it became clear that I couldn’t soothe them all at once. We all learned to adapt to a little discomfort, which ultimately made us stronger as a family.
3. I Stopped Worrying About Everything.
If my older kids ended up watching a couple of episodes of their favorite show while I took care of the new baby, so be it. I let go of the pressure to keep them entertained at all times. Store-bought snacks replaced my homemade efforts, and I stopped chasing perfection around the house. I even chuckled when people offered unsolicited parenting advice—no longer caring what others thought.
4. I Stopped Welcoming Drop-Ins.
The days of unannounced visits were over. If you didn’t come with a dinner in hand, you weren’t getting through my door. The notion of casual visits to cuddle the baby while I juggled my two toddlers was not realistic. I was exhausted and needed support, not extra guests.
5. I Stopped Automatically Saying Yes.
This was the toughest adjustment, especially for my kids and husband. I had to say no more often, whether it was playing games or making dinner. I also had to limit my availability to friends and family who didn’t understand my new limitations. Those who were supportive remained in my life, while others faded away, and that was perfectly okay.
Navigating life with three kids was a whirlwind, filled with moments of uncertainty. But I knew deep down that my love for them was unwavering. Yes, my house might not always be spotless, and sometimes, I fed them junk food, but I learned that by letting go of certain expectations, I could embrace motherhood in the best possible way.
For more insights on family planning and pregnancy, check out this resource from Hopkins Medicine. And if you’re considering ways to boost your fertility, Make a Mom’s fertility supplements can provide valuable assistance. Also, don’t forget to read about our terms and conditions at this link for more information.
Summary:
When welcoming my third child, I quickly learned that I needed to make significant changes to my parenting approach. From limiting hospital visitors to letting go of the need for perfection, I found that embracing the chaos ultimately strengthened my family bond. My love for my kids remained steadfast, and I discovered a new rhythm in motherhood that allowed me to prioritize self-care and family well-being.