By: Emily James
Updated: Sep. 29, 2023
Originally Published: Sep. 30, 2016
From a young age, I sensed that I viewed the world differently. While I was often described as “shy,” I didn’t quite fit the typical introvert mold. I enjoyed socializing but found it draining after a short period; the mental and emotional fatigue felt akin to a hangover from too much interaction.
Throughout my life, people advised me to develop a thicker skin. I longed to be one of those resilient individuals who could easily block out the overwhelming stimuli around them — the sights, sounds, and smells that often left me feeling exhausted.
It wasn’t until recently that I discovered the term “Highly Sensitive Person” (HSP), defined by psychologist Elaine Aron. This concept resonated with me, as I identified with nearly every trait associated with HSPs. According to Dr. Aron, this trait impacts 15 to 20% of the population and is a natural part of who we are — something to embrace rather than hide away.
Understanding my sensitivity has been liberating. I’ve learned to accept my nature and strive to create a life that caters to my needs, rather than force myself into a mold that doesn’t fit. However, when I first became a mom, I had yet to grasp the implications of being an HSP, and I found the experience to be incredibly overwhelming. New motherhood can be a challenge for anyone, but for me, it felt like a sensory overload. Even now, I realize that I’m not the type of mom who can take her kids out every day or ignore the constant noise that comes with parenting.
Here are some common struggles that many highly sensitive moms, including myself, often face:
- Playdates Can Be Draining
It’s not just the chaos of kids playing or the mess that ensues; even organizing a playdate can feel overwhelming. Balancing adult conversations with kid interactions can be tough for us, as multitasking isn’t our strong suit. We genuinely enjoy spending time with other moms and their little ones, but we often prefer shorter, more low-key gatherings. - Opting Out of Moms’ Night Out
While I cherish my friendships with other moms, I often find myself opting for one-on-one time instead. After a day filled with parenting, the thought of heading out for a night on the town can feel overwhelming. What we really crave at the end of the day is a moment of peace — perhaps with a little Netflix and a glass of wine. - We Experience Emotions Deeply
I have an uncanny ability to sense when someone is upset, even if they try to hide it. This sensitivity extends to our children, making it challenging not to absorb their emotions. While it fosters empathy, it also leaves us feeling drained, especially when our kids are in their emotional phases. - News Hits Hard
Since becoming a mother, I find myself more affected by distressing news stories. When I hear about harm to children, I can’t help but picture my own kids, which can lead to feelings of sadness and hopelessness. To maintain a sense of calm, I’ve had to limit my exposure to the news. - Busy Schedules Are Exhausting
I used to feel guilty about not wanting to overload my children’s schedules with extracurricular activities. However, I’ve come to realize that I am a homebody at heart, and so are my kids. We enjoy fun but in moderation, and I’ve let go of the need to be a busy mom. - We Need Time to Recharge
I adore my children, but I can’t be with them constantly, especially as they grow more energetic. After nearly a decade as a stay-at-home mom, I recognize that I needed more quiet time. While many mothers feel this way, for sensitive moms, breaks are essential for our well-being.
What we sensitive moms want most is understanding. Our need for solitude isn’t a reflection of our feelings for you; it’s simply how we manage our sensitivity.
On the positive side, our capacity to love deeply is our greatest strength — whether it’s for our children, friends, or even strangers we encounter. If you take the time to understand us, we will open our hearts; we just ask that you treat them with care.
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Summary
Highly sensitive moms often face unique challenges in parenting, from feeling overwhelmed by social interactions to needing quiet time to recharge. Understanding and accepting these traits can help create a more balanced family life. By embracing who we are, we can foster deeper connections and a nurturing environment for our loved ones.