Oct. 2, 2023
My mom had a saying she often repeated: “You can cry over spilled milk, but you can’t drink it.” While I understand the intent behind it, the imagery is a bit off-putting. Why would anyone want to drink spoiled milk, right? Kids, thankfully, don’t have the same grasp of such phrases, and their limited vocabulary means they’re mostly absorbing what we say and what they catch on kids’ shows. Besides, let’s face it: most kids aren’t paying attention anyway.
For years, I didn’t quite get my mom’s expression, and even now, as I navigate through parenting, I still find it less than helpful. As a parent, I’ve realized that there are plenty of phrases we use that don’t really add value to our conversations. Often, we substitute colorful language with sanitized alternatives. Saying, “Oh my goodness, what is that smell coming from your room?” is much more kid-friendly than, “What on earth died in there?”
Here are some of my least favorite parenting phrases that seem to serve no real purpose:
- You KNOW.
No, they don’t. Neither do we. This is just a filler phrase for when words escape us. - Are you kidding me?!
Clearly, when a child dumps a bag of flour everywhere, they aren’t joking. It might be better as a rhetorical question than a literal one. - Knock it off!
If your child is about to send their sippy cup crashing to the floor, this may make sense. But if they’re misbehaving, why not just say what you mean? - I’m done.
Maybe you are, but you likely have 17 more years of parenting ahead of you. This phrase is more of a vent than a solution. - WOW!
This exclamation isn’t used out of joy; it’s reserved for moments of frustration when you have no other words to express your feelings. - This is ridiculous!
And, yes, it often is. But your child probably isn’t going to grasp the gravity of the situation. - You’ve got another think coming.
If you think you can skip bedtime, think again. But this phrase rarely delivers the intended impact. - If you’re going to do something, do it right.
True, but how do you guide them on that? It’s easier said than done! - No one ever said that life was fair.
While this is certainly true, your child just wants their ice cream cone back, not a life lesson. - I don’t give a rat’s ass.
And let’s be honest, who wants a rat’s behind anyway? - So help me.
Who is this “So,” and how exactly can they assist? - There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
Tell that to the local diner on kid’s eat free night! - To assume is to make an ass out of you and me.
A clever play on words, but do kids really need a grammar lesson in frustration? - You can wish in one hand and shit in the other. See which one fills up first.
This one just makes zero sense—why would anyone want to do that? - If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.
Because who wouldn’t want a bag of peanuts under the tree?
Of course, there are plenty more pointless phrases out there, and I’m sure you have your own favorites—whether they were passed down from your parents or ones you’ve picked up along the way. Many of us have inherited some colorful language from previous generations, while our own phrases often lack the same flair.
Navigating life’s unfairness is tough, which is why we often resort to these silly sayings. They’re just our way of verbalizing reactions to situations that often leave us speechless. So, let’s embrace the chaos of parenting, one quirky phrase at a time!
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In summary, while many phrases we use as parents might seem pointless, they often serve as a way to communicate frustration or humor in our parenting journey.