I was at the grocery store the other day, standing at the meat counter, eager to grab a particular cut of beef for my renowned pot roast. This recipe has been passed down in my family, and I’ve made it countless times. Honestly, I’d even say I’m somewhat of an expert at it—though admitting that as a woman feels a bit strange.
So there I was, confidently approaching the counter, ready to request the meat I needed. But the male butcher looked at me, asked what I was planning to use it for (as if it were any of his business), and then proceeded to give me an unsolicited five-minute lecture. Yes, five minutes of him detailing how I should use the meat and what I could or couldn’t do with it.
I eventually got my desired cut, but I left feeling like I wanted to throw it right back at him. I get it, Mr. Butcher, you know your meat. But I knew exactly what I wanted and didn’t need a lesson from you. So here’s an open letter to you and all the other mansplainers out there.
Dear Mansplainers of the World,
As a woman, I often find myself speaking less in professional settings. I might not be as assertive, tend to apologize more often, and use fillers like “um” and “like” more than you do. Research suggests this stems from a lower threshold for what we perceive as offensive. I recognize that I can come across as indecisive, but I’m working on it—no more apologies from me!
But seriously, enough with the mansplaining. The term was popularized by Rebecca Solnit in her 2008 essay, “Men Explain Things to Me.” It describes the tendency of men to over-explain things to women, assuming we lack understanding simply because we’re women.
For example, as a mother of two, you wouldn’t be able to explain childbirth to me, or breastfeeding a baby piranha, or even how to prepare my prized pot roast. Yet, I’ve had men try to explain all of these things to me over the years.
Mansplaining is like the male ego taking center stage, often disregarding my expertise. I’ve encountered it at writing conferences, while driving, in classrooms, at meat counters, and far too many times in my previous hospital job. Male doctors have a knack for explaining how to get patients moving—even though that’s literally my area of expertise as a physical therapist.
Sometimes, my husband even falls into the mansplaining trap, though I know it’s unintentional after 15 years of marriage. When I express feeling down, he often dives into lengthy suggestions about exercising more or improving my sleep. But what I really need is simply to share my feelings, not a lecture on how to fix them.
So please, understand that my mind functions just fine. I have a wealth of knowledge, even if I’m not loudly broadcasting it. I’ve been navigating this world for 40 years, and if I want your advice on my pot roast, I’ll ask for it.
Thank you,
Women Everywhere
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Summary:
The article addresses the issue of mansplaining, particularly as experienced by women in various situations, including a humorous encounter at a butcher shop. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing women’s expertise and not underestimating their knowledge based purely on gender.