When you see the title of this piece, you might be thinking, “Of course, it’s 2023!” Yet, despite the awareness many of us share, victim blaming remains a pervasive issue in our society and online spaces. What prompts our culture to scrutinize those who have already suffered at the hands of others? Is it a misguided attempt to reassure ourselves that we’re somehow different, that we wouldn’t find ourselves in the same situation?
Consider this: a woman is assaulted, and people claim she provoked it by dressing a certain way, suggesting she should have “behaved differently.” We would never do that. A child faces bullying, and onlookers question whether he carried the right type of backpack. We would never let our children be judged this way. A same-sex couple is attacked for expressing their affection publicly. We would never do that. A teenage girl is assaulted at a party simply for attending. We would never do that. Survivors of domestic abuse face inquiries about why they stayed in harmful relationships. We would never do that. A college woman is violated after having too much to drink, and the blame is shifted to her choices. We would never do that. A public figure states that their daughter would prevent sexual harassment, as if it’s solely within her control. We would never do that.
It’s all complete nonsense. Research shows that victims frequently choose not to report violent crimes due to feelings of embarrassment, fear, or frustration with a system that often fails them. It’s outrageous to shift blame onto the victim, letting the real perpetrators—the rapists, abusers, and bullies—escape accountability while we worry about their futures. Sorry, but their futures are not our priority.
The internet is a powerful platform, and while negative voices often seem loudest, I genuinely believe the majority of people are good. As caring individuals, it’s time for us to raise our voices and change the narrative, one story at a time.
A woman is assaulted because a man chose to harm her. A child is bullied because the aggressor hasn’t learned empathy. A same-sex couple faces violence due to the ignorance of others. A teenage girl is victimized because a group of boys chose to be predators, and they deserve punishment. A domestic abuse survivor suffers because of their abuser. A college woman is attacked because a man made the choice to assault her. And the notion that anyone can escape the risk of sexual violence is a myth; no one is immune.
As parents and community members, we must shift the focus from the victim’s actions to the perpetrator’s. By doing so, we can create an environment where more victims feel safe to come forward, knowing they will be supported rather than blamed. If we hold offenders accountable, perhaps future generations will think twice before committing such acts.
Let’s work together to build a safer, more understanding world for everyone. It’s time to speak up and support one another.
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In summary, victim blaming is an outdated notion that not only harms individuals but also perpetuates a cycle of abuse and silence. It’s essential that we all take responsibility for changing the conversation and supporting those who have suffered.