Parenting
By Lisa Grayson
Oct. 7, 2023
For the first 13 years of our parenting adventure, we lived in bustling cities—Los Angeles and New York City, to be specific. When our eldest turned 14 and our youngest was just 5, we decided to relocate to a charming small town with a population of around 30,000—where a significant portion are university students—surrounded by expansive farmland. The nearest sizable city is a good hour and a half away. While it’s not a one-horse town, the contrast from city life is striking.
I felt a mix of excitement and apprehension about this shift. My early years were spent in a quaint little town, while my partner grew up in a community of just 7,000. Honestly, the disadvantages of small-town life seemed to overshadow the advantages. However, not every small town is the same, and our new home has much more to offer than the places we once knew. After two years of living here, I’ve unearthed several rewards of raising kids in a small town, along with a few things I’d change if I had the chance.
The Upsides of Raising Children in a Small Town:
Safety
It was a bit surreal moving to a place where many of my neighbors leave their doors unlocked. Not that they shouldn’t, but they simply feel secure enough not to. Some of my friends have lived here their entire lives without ever locking their cars or even taking their keys with them. While crime can occur anywhere, the safety level here is remarkably high compared to even the safer suburbs of New York. It’s a comforting benefit.
Traffic
I had no idea how much time we wasted in Los Angeles dealing with traffic jams. In our small town, we can traverse from one end to the other in just 10 minutes. There’s another town about 15 minutes away that has more shopping and dining options, and we drive half an hour to reach a bigger city for Costco. But traffic is rarely an issue. Rush hour here feels more like a brief 15-minute delay, mostly meaning you might not make it through a green light on the first attempt. No more planning around gridlock—such a relief.
Community
In the cities, we had numerous friends and family members, but they were often scattered across different neighborhoods. There was a sense of community, but it lacked the close-knit feel we now enjoy. The small-town vibe allows for a lovely network of connections, even in our college town filled with transient residents. The palpable sense of belonging is truly heartwarming.
Simplicity
I initially worried about leaving behind the endless activities that city life provided, but I’ve found that having fewer options is refreshing. A life with less is indeed simpler. With fewer museums, parks, and extracurricular activities to choose from, we experience less decision fatigue and more enjoyable outings—it’s a breath of fresh air.
The Downsides of Raising Children in a Small Town:
Limited Diversity
While living in a university town does bring some cultural diversity, it’s still not comparable to what you find in a major city. Without the college presence, our town would be rather uniform. It’s important for us that our children grow up with varied backgrounds and perspectives, so we actively seek out cultural events at the university to broaden their horizons.
Fewer Opportunities
I mentioned earlier that having fewer choices can make life simpler, which is true overall. However, it can be disheartening when my kids express interest in activities that simply aren’t available here. While we can find most things, some are just out of reach. Want to try trapeze? Sorry, kiddo. Interested in attending an opera? That’s a 90-minute drive. Major concerts? Those are five hours away.
Longing for the City
There’s a certain magic about big cities that’s hard to ignore. Although I don’t miss the crowds and traffic, I sometimes find myself longing for the twinkling Chicago skyline at night. I miss the days spent exploring the city, barely scratching the surface, and the vibrant energy that pulses through downtown. Taking the train into the city with my children was always an exhilarating adventure.
Reduced Complexity
While simplicity is essential for children, so is exposure to complexity. Sometimes I think about the valuable experiences our kids might miss—like learning to navigate public transportation or encountering world-class arts and cultural events. These elements can help them understand societal disparities, and I wonder if we’re limiting their development by removing them from the complexities of urban life.
Yet, as with everything, there are trade-offs. No location will ever offer a perfect blend of all one might desire for their children. Each town or city has its unique advantages and challenges. I feel fortunate to have raised kids in both a metropolitan area and a small town, allowing us to appreciate both the benefits and the gaps in each environment.
I don’t think one choice is inherently better than the other. Regardless of our location, we can create a nurturing environment that encourages our children to thrive. We can teach them to flourish where they are planted while also introducing them to diverse lifestyles. By empowering them with the skills to adapt, we can help them navigate whatever paths they choose after leaving home. Whether in a bustling metropolis or a serene small town, we can provide a loving home to which they can always return.
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SEO Summary:
Raising children in a small town presents unique advantages and disadvantages. From safety and community to limited diversity and fewer opportunities, each choice holds its own weight. Understanding these dynamics can help parents create enriching environments for their kids.